Hey, folks! I just finished watching Joe Bagnardi's Edge Of Reality on VHS. I can't even begin to tell you what a crap movie this is! Now, now, before you take offence, hear me out. As some horror fans can tell you, if you're a fan of B horror films, saying a movie was horrible is not exactly the same as saying I didn't like it. There are a fair number of fans out there that can't seem to help liking the B movies that are so bad they actually hurt a little, and I'm definitely one of them. With this movie, I was a little in awe at just how bad it actually was. Maybe I'm a bit of a masochist but I thought the whole thing was pretty funny in the end.

The movie opens, looking a little too much like a disgraceful love child of Tales From The Darkside and the Twilight Zone. All the stories are introduced in a handful of black and white shots in a cemetery, which is where our tour guide through the 'edge of reality' likes to hang out. He looks a little like Grandpa Munster but with fewer lines of dialogue and a lot less enthusiasm.

In Dead Man, we find a games officer named Jim Hitchcock who's out looking for someone who's been shooting at Bambi out of season. He follows the sound of gunshots to a cabin in the woods. He finds a hunter named McGuffin (I sense a theme here) who'd rather kill a man then go down for hunting! McGuffin finds himself in some trouble when Jim's body keeps coming back from the grave. Did I mention that Jim is narrating the story as wel? I guess the old adage about dead men telling no tales doesn't hold true since Jim's telling the story post mortem. Oh well, eventually (and I mean eventually - literally) things will sort themselves out.

Our next story from 'the edge' is The Maze, based on the 1978 short film titled Beyond The Twilight Zone. In our updated version, Harry Swift, has been having a really bad day. His boss at the advertising firm handed Harry his walking papers and when Harry gets home he finds that his wife is giving him AND his cat the boot! With nowhere to keep his stuff OR his cat, there's nothing left to do but head to the storage facility. When Harry gets to the facility, he's confronted by his very own inner demon, which has taken human form. Now, Harry's running for his life...from himself...in a storage facility. How the hell do you get lost on one floor in a place full of padlocked doors and why does Harry's demon double sound like Ant from Last Comic Standing?

In our last story, The Quarry, Jack Greene and Scott Donahue set out for some fun in the wilderness. They set up a meeting with Bauman, a weathered but wise old mountain man, in hopes that he'd be their guide. Bauman tells them a tale of his younger years when a two-legged beast creature (that has a wild beast odor) attacked him and his friends in some nearby woods. His best friend died in the attack and now Bauman never goes into the woods. That doesn't stop Jack and Scott though. They're here for an adventure! What could be better than meeting Big Foot? Some people just deserve what they get.

Along with the obviously riveting story lines, this movie offers a whole host of actors that seem to have graduated from the William Shatner school of acting. They were probably even on the deans list. On top of that you can heap on a soundtrack that doesn't know what it wants to be. At one point, it sounded like a porn soundtrack and at yet another, it sounded very bluegrass. The look of the film itself wasn't terrible, except for the places that they tried to use a few of the camera's 'special effects' features. As for an example of sound effects, the cry of Big Foot sounded suspiciously like one of those tin toys that let's out a cow moo when you tip it on it's side. A desolate moo in the middle of the night is hardly scary.

I'll give the movie this though, it had heart, even if it didn't have content. When it comes right down to it, this movie is so terrible; it's truly funny. And when my friends and I gather for our weekly movie powwow tonight, we'll all sit and laugh about this movie. Some of them (bless their twisted lil' hearts) will even watch it with me because it's a bad movie. I don't know if this fact makes the movie a success, but it certainly says something. Doesn't it?