Ah, the French. If there's one thing they're good for, it's providing us with timeless works in the perverted arts. Though the production of pornographic material is by no means limited to our cowardly friends across the pond, the French will always hold a special place in history when it comes to discussions of "le sex". As a fan of nekkid ladies and skin flicks alike, I was thrilled when a DVD screener for Vintage Erotica anno 1940 arrived at the Monsters At Play offices. I've always been keenly interested in the history and development of the hobbies I enjoy, and pornography is certainly no exception. With reckless abandon, I popped the disc into my player and prepared to watch some classic spank footage.

Vintage Erotica Anno 1940 is a collection of short erotic films originating in France around the time of World War II. Based on the title (and the decidedly classy photos on the package), I was expecting to see naught but softcore cheesecake and titillating stripteases. What I quickly discovered, however, was a surprising world of triple-x debauchery. There is so much sleaze and filth in these films that you'd think they were made just recently. How sleazy, you ask? How does an anal splash shot and a pair of nurses passing around the skin flute like it was a cigarette strike you? And that's just for starters! Cult Epics also indulges us with a saucy Santa Claus parody that depicts the jolly one distributing sex toys to bad little girls, as well as a wealthy woman deflowering her maid. It's sleazy and skanky, but watching this collection will make you realize just how little things have changed in the last 60 years of erotic cinema.

The film selection opens with Les 2 Roses, a lesbian piece which features plenty of passionate rug munching. Catch Cache follows a similar theme but injects erotic wrestling into the formula, making for a rather strange viewing experience. Next up are a pair of untitled works that feature softer fare like naked beachball-tossing and pseudo-erotic body painting. It's more silly than erotic, though I confess that I'm not really qualified to judge sexual norms from the 1940s. La Partie de Cartes and A La Français introduce us to the world of buttock spanking, with the latter film showing some extended male-on-female intercourse. Taboos between the upper and lower classes are broken with Madame et sa Bonne and La Vase Brisé, as aristocratic women frolic with their naughty servants. And by frolic I mean "eat pussy".

The longest (and filthiest) film of the set is Esprit de Famille, which serves as the collection's "gonzo sampler". A husband and wife retire to a bedroom for some humping and pumping, but little do they know that a female visitor has arrived at the room before them and is hiding behind a curtain. At first the visitor is repulsed by the sexual shenanigans of the couple, but quickly becomes aroused and feverishly starts beating her clit. Her vigorous stroking attracts the attention of the couple, who immediately dish out punishment by tying her up and spanking her bottom. As if that weren't enough, the husband then slips his baguette into the intruder's corn chute and plumbs the depths of her colon for a while. She squirms at first but promptly starts to enjoy it, suggesting that all chicks would dig anal if they just gave it a try. (That one's gonna generate some email, just watch.) When he's finished, he withdraws his meat saber and splashes a sticky wicket on her luscious rump, then wipes the excess in her crack. This is the 1940s? Jesus Christ! By now the wife is livid, so the man and the visitor tie her up and proceed to make the beast with two backs. We're treated to some bone polishing as the visitor taunts the wife, followed by a slow-motion pop shot into her wooded underbrush. With the husband spent, the wife and the visitor engage in some strap-on hijnks before the film draws to a close. Whew!

The depravity doesn't stop there, as Petit Conte de Noel shows us a horny Santa Claus trying to score with little girls, winged cherubs and just about everyone else. Initially rejected by the girl he visits, he presents her with a manually operated fucking machine, and she promptly reams herself silly with it. A reluctant cherub then disrobes and climbs aboard Santa's spunk sleigh, riding it to orgasmville. Next we have the appropriately-titled La Clinique en Folie, in which two nurses succumb to their carnal desires while bathing a male patient. They eagerly use his cum cannon in a variety of ways, then delve into each others' velvet glory once he's spent. The meaty lead in Ersats Seule masturbates with a liquid-spewing dildo after reading some erotic stories, while a peeping tom cranks a creamy load onto the floor after secretly watching a striptease in La Puce. It's fantastique!

Each film on this disc is presented in its original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Image quality varies from acceptable to downright poor depending on which film you watch. Most of the films suffer from extremes of light and dark as well as severe grain and static, though some (like Esprit de Famille) are very watchable. Though they are all remastered, no amount of retouching was going to help any of these very old pieces that much, so I can't fault Cult Epics for the sub-par visuals. You'll likely have no trouble figuring out what's going on though; cock looks like cock no matter how grainy the picture gets. There is no audio of which to speak, as all of these films are presumably of the silent variety. (Hadn't they heard of the talkie?) Cult Epics has overlayed a continuous track of light jazz over the video, so you don't have to sit in your dark basement in total silence. But you didn't really want to listen to an hour and a half of scratchy moaning, did you? I thought not.

Extras are very thin on Vintage Erotica, but this is easily forgiven in light of the rarity of the films themselves. In addition to a very classy opening menu, the Film Selection lists each film with both its French and English title. There is a photo gallery featuring vintage photographs from the 1900s up through the 1940s, and these provide some insight into the sexual preferences of the period. Notions of beauty and sexuality are markedly different, as evidenced by full figured women decorated with loads of thick pubic hair. Many of the pictures mimic what you see in modern pornography, though there are a few period-specific oddities, like one that depicts two men shaking hands while their girls suck them off. Ah, to return to a time of gentlemen.

Overall I'm quite happy to add Vintage Erotica Anno 1940 to my DVD collection. The films themselves have very little artistic relevance or socially redeeming value, but this collection is an invaluable resource for studying the history of pornography on film. While I personally don't find these films arousing (these lasses are in need of a bit of groundskeeping), they are strikingly similar in content to modern spank flicks and prove the old adage that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Check out Vintage Erotica anno 1940: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll exclaim "holy shit, he just came on her ass!".

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