For better or for worse, Jess Franco is still making movies. You gotta give the guy credit, he's making the movies that he has always wanted to (I suppose) and it really seems as if nothing is gonna stop him now. Franco's latest opus to hit DVD, Vampire Blues brings back some of his most familiar themes in this ultra low budget shot on video quickie. Sub Rosa Blue has respectfully presented Franco's latest on DVD, with no less than two versions of the same long and drawn out flick, so let's take a look.

Let's talk about story, shall we? Well, there really isn't much to discuss here but I'll do my darndest to sum up this 90-minute music video up as best I can. Some vampire countess or something is stalking a young girl vacationing in Spain. I'm not really sure about anyone's name so you'll have to excuse me. I guess naming each character wasn't top priority. It shouldn't be too hard to keep track regardless as there's really only a few major players here anyway. Moving along, this young lady spends her time shopping for hats and sunglasses, taking pictures of pubs and sunbathing topless. All the while, this mysterious vampire countess, or whatever keeps a close eye. In one riveting scene, the young lady purchases a t-shirt from a shopkeeper (Franco himself) that has a photo on it of the very countess that's been stalking her! Weird, huh? Keep in mind that I am absolutely not making any of this up; I saw this happen with my own two eyes, I did!

Somehow this countess lures the young vacationing gal into her evil lair and seduces her. Basically, this means they eventually wind up rolling around naked with each other in a 20-minute scene that is made to look like it was shot in negative, not too distracting now, is it? Oh, and I forgot to mention that there's also some psychic lady who tries to help the young girl who has been seduced by using what I would like to refer to as "the dildo of death". Believe, me I'm NOT giving away any surprises here.

Ok, so let's see what we have here. The first ten minutes are comprised of this young lady walking around and sunbathing topless. The last 20 minutes consist of her rolling around naked with the countess while a bad optical effect is being applied. Then in between we have a lot of random shots of the countess rubbing her ass, boobs and crotch in varying positions. All the while Franco tries to keep it artistic by using creative camera techniques like shooting through a glass vase or using Banana Splits style close up/zoom in and outs. I guess in retrospect it all would have been a bit more appealing if at least one of the ladies here were attractive, unfortunately I wound up breathing a sigh of relief each time they put their clothes back on (which wasn't often enough… sad to say).

Franco shot this epic on video and the result is about what one would expect. Shots are clear, except for a few that were shot outside in the shade on exceptionally bright days, which even made me squint from my living room. You may want to watch those scenes with sunglasses on. Other than that the picture quality looks just dandy with really no evidence of artifacting or pixelation. Not that it really matters, but audio is fine as well. There really isn't much in the way of dialogue, just a whole lot of bad music and some character narration that creeps in from time to time.

Extras include the 90-minute European version of the flick (the original version runs a more respectable 67 minutes) and a brief music clip of the band Ubangies performing the theme song to Vampire Blues (which features a line about "having a fire down below" or something classy like that). The only other extra is a brief still gallery. Francophiles may want to dig in at least to have the opportunity to say that they've seen every film he's ever concocted. Franco really needs to discover the next Soledad Miranda and just start from scratch, which could surely be his next ticket to success. As it stands, Vampire Blues is still a better film than other recent Franco's like Lust for Frankenstein and Tender Flesh... but to be honest with you, this really isn't saying much.