I am old enough (and I thought, saavy enough) to know better than to expect anything special when watching a made-for-TV movie. Made-for-TV movies are a genre unto themselves; with stock characters and plotlines that are meant to be comfortable and familiar, so as to not challenge the TV viewing audience who are sitting down for a little mindless entertainment following their dinner and a long day at work. However - I'll admit I did make the mistake of expecting something out-of-the-ordinary from Uno Bianca, since it was an Italian made-for-TV movie that someone (in this came, NoShame Films) went to all the trouble of packaging and releasing to english speaking audiences. Surely no one would put that much effort into promoting standard fare. Having watched all 200 minutes, I'm convinced the only reason they found it worth pursuing, packaging and promoting is the fact that it was directed by Michele Soavi of Dellamorte Dellamore (review here) fame. Despite the case's promise that it is "unlike anything you've ever seen in prime time," Uno Bianca is your run-of-the-mill made-for-tv cop drama; turn down the Italian audio track, and you can easily believe you're watching something on an American cable TV network. There's the occasional interesting, slightly - surreal - visuals, but otherwise - from the script to the sets to the occasional girl in a bikini, and even down to star Kim Rossi Stewart's perpetual five o'clock shadow; Uno Biancais one Glenn Fry song and a kilo of cocaine away from being a re-run of Miami Vice.

Loosely based on the true story, Uno Bianca tells the tale of two small-time, small-town cops (played by Kim Rossi Stewart and Dino Abbrescia) who try to take down a big-time Italian crime syndicate: the "Uno Bianca Gang" - so-called because they use a different stolen white Fiat Uno for every job they pull. It may seem cheeky and a bit unwise of them to do so, but being fearless and reckless is one of their trademarks. Also, white Fiat Unos are apparently very common in Bologna - as loads of them turn up in the film.

It is very telling that during his interview in the extras - a largely self-congratulatory segment- screenwriter Luigi Montefiori (who also writes under the name George Eastman) basically admits that the original story wasn't interesting enough to carry through the entire two-part series, and so he chose to embellish some of the first half, and invent the second half entirely out of whole cloth. Unfortunately, this is evident in the watching. The two halves of the film (spread out one episode per DVD) are distinct, but neither are strong, compelling nor complete enough to stand on their own - and both feel painfully padded. Perhaps it is a matter of Life imitating Art, but even the bits of the movie that are ostensibly based on the facts are predictable. I won't offer any spoilers as to the revelation that comes mid-way through the series (although I'm willing to bet you'll see it coming from a mile away), but if you've ever seen a movie about an underdog cop who faces off against a powerful nemesis, you probably won't be surprised to learn that our small-town heros have to fight against the bureaucracy as often as the bad guys...and invariably find their loved ones in danger.

It's unfortunate that the filmmakers felt the need to tell this story over a three-hour, two-part series. A single, two-hour straight telling, devoid of all the fictional additions - although potentially no less obvious - could have made for a decent movie...or at very least a decent made-for-TV-movie. Over three hours of one-dimensional characters treading familiar ground does not an action-packed afternoon make.

DVD extras include: 2 behind the scenes featurettes (although the 3 minute featurette is little more than a pared-down version of the 7 minute version), interviews with the filmmakers, a still gallery, a full-color booklet with some cast bios and a history of the story behind the film (some spoilers), and a cardboard punch-out white Fiat Uno, which I suppose you can use to entertain yourself while you're waiting for the interminable film to reach its inevitable conclusion.