I love Kung Fu movies - hell, I used to own a video store that specialized in Hong Kong action flicks - but one thing I've never developed is the skill to figure out what the hell is going on in a lot of 'em. Ten Tigers of Shaolin is pretty simple, but still left me feeling like I'd been drinking heavily while watching it (and I swear I wasn't!).

I think I've got it more-or-less figured out, in any case: the Ten Tigers are sort of like the Jedi Knights of a small village in Canton, generally being smooth until called upon to keep the peace. The flick opens with a gang of toughs sauntering through the village's streets, hassling people and busting stuff up. One of the Tigers intervenes and unleashes a Kung Fu ass-kicking assault. As things progress, other members of the Ten Tigers find themselves facing off with various hoods and scumbags. Eventually we learn that local boss Yuen - who is sort of the Senator Palpatine figure - is determined to destroy the order of the Ten Tigers and take full control of the region.

One of Yuen's sneaky tricks is to kidnap the wife of a student of the Tigers. This leads to lots of hand-wringing and ass-kicking before Tiger Tai (Bruce Leung) makes an attempt to rescue the woman. When he makes his way into the room she's kept in, she goes all super-freaky on Tiger Tai, scampering around in the buff and screaming that she's being raped. It all turns out to be a big set-up in an attempt to frame Tai, but fortunately for the Tigers, the effort fails. Seeking revenge, the Tigers infiltrate Yuen's home by having their one female member pose as the Emperor's daughter in hopes of framing Yuen for kidnapping. Meanwhile, the other Tigers dress as beggars and act real goofy. This whole scheme falls apart when the phony daughter is actually kidnapped by another bad guy.

I think.

In any case, this leads into the film's climax, which is basically 30 minutes of non-stop Kung Fu ass-kicking action, with the Ten Tigers cutting loose in various styles (my favorite is the comedy-relief Tiger who uses Drunken Boxing and suffers from some of the cheesiest dubbing I've ever witnessed). While I can't guarantee that I've even come close to nailing what the story is about, this relentless Old-School fight sequence will have you squealing with delight, I can assure you.

Transfer-wise, you probably couldn't do much better, although the1.85:1 letterboxed print suffers from a fair amount of speckling and scratches. The mono sound is fine and gave me what I wanted in terms of Kung Fu Theater dubbing and sound effects. The disc is utterly lacking in extras -- like, there's absolutely nothing in that department.

All in all, though, you can't go wrong with this one - great fight sequences, cool actors, and even some amusing comedy make it a must-see for Old School fans (and fans of gratuitous wacky ball-clutching will find that Ten Tigers of Shaolin delivers the groceries in that department, as well).