Oh yes...this will be lame.

I wasn't expecting much...as a matter of fact, I wasn't expecting anything. But at the same time, I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised. I mean hell, there's always hope...right? Count me in as one of the few who don't fully understand the appeal of the original SAW (review here). I can appreciate what they were trying to accomplish on such a tight time frame and budget, but I still don't think it worked. What surprises me the most about this franchise is not that people like 'em, but that they LOVE 'em. I just don't get it. Still I was willing to give this dog his day...and let me tell you (from my perspective) it's exactly what you'd expect.

As the film opens, a young man is trapped in a squalid room, with one of those familiar contraptions wrapped around his neck and head. Jigsaw is back and he's ready to play. This poor sap has a choice. He can wait out the 60 seconds he has to live and suffer the snap of a make shift bear trap to the head, or dig out the key to the device (which has been surgically implanted under his eye) with a scalpel. Needless to say, he doesn't make it out alive.

Which brings me to my first complaint. Here we have our first glimpse of things to come. These characters (unlike those in the first film) seem to have a certain lack of willingness to do what it takes to survive. In the first film however, characters were willing to lop of their own body parts, this guy barely even makes an attempt for survival, which makes it seem all the more like a set piece or set up than it does a character motivated action.

Moving along, we're introduced to Det. Eric Mathews (overplayed by Donnie Wahlberg) only to find out that the guy in the bear trap contraption was an informant. Eric is a crooked cop, divorced and he doesn't know how to communicate with his son. How do we fix this situation? Why the Jigsaw way of course! Eric's son and a group of 'strangers' are locked in a booby-trapped house, while Eric, Jigsaw and a swat team watch the action unfold on closed circuit monitors. The 'trick' of course (which I refuse to give away) is how the action unfolds as we discover who these people are, and what's in store for them. To be honest, the twist is rather clever, but that doesn't make up for the first clichéd 85-minutes of film.

SAW 2 breaks every rule in the book when it comes to horror sequels. It's bigger, badder and bloodier, that's for sure...but for no apparent reason. The original SAW is not a body count movie; so imagine my surprise when the sequel turned out to be just that. I can just see the audiences at a packed theatre squirming and screaming - nothing but shock value at it's finest. But why? And for what? These characters are nothing but stereotypes. And unlikable stereotypes at that. So who the hell are we to root for? Is there even one likeable character in the bunch? I certainly couldn't find one.

Eric is a crooked cop who has a bad relationship with his son. He doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything until his son is placed in a life-threatening situation. Let's root for him. Or maybe we should cheer for Jigsaw. He's a cancer patient who places people in life threatening situations (more often than not these people are forced into killing themselves or others) to teach them morality lessons. Or maybe we should root for any one of the stereotypes trapped in the house. All they do the entire film is act tough, yell and fight with one another, spout 'clever' one-liners and eventually resort to murder. They pass up more than one chance to escape, simply because they want to act stupid, tough or to not have to swallow their pride. There's a lot of hatred within these walls and these unlikable characters are thrown into a tired old rehash that's far less interesting than it's predecessor. I couldn't wait until they all died.

Audio and Video quality is about as good as one would expect. Shame to waste such nice clarity on a film like this. The anamorphic image is spotless and if this film has anything going for it, it's that it looks good. Great sets and use of lighting etc. SAW 2 is a really slick looking horror film, with an equally as slick digital surround track. But slickness will only get you so far. Extras include a cast and crew commentary in which they pat each other on their backs for far too long, behind-the-scenes, trailers, storyboard comparisons and a close up look at a few of Jigsaw's traps. Who cares, because I'm sure there will be a 'Super Deluxe Special Edition DVD' released in another 5 months anyway!

And for the record, this is the first time I've seen a movie in which a quote that was used extensively in the ad campaign "Oh yes...there will be blood" is actually used IN the film. I'm sure that's where the quote came from, but still...It's lame! Even more annoying than a film that uses the title of the film in the film. Bleech.