If one were so inclined, one could easily teach a full college semester's class on Nail Gun Massacre. I'm surprised that no one has written a book on the history/making of this film. It really is an interesting piece of genre film past and should be dissected. The DVD format is great for so many reasons. First and foremost, the release of classic genre films that really do deserve top treatment. It's great to see that a lot of companies are delving into these films histories as well, and also talking to as many participants who had a hand in making these films. Letting them tell their side of the story...or for lack of a better way of saying it...explaining themselves. While the breadth of extras on Synapse release of Nail Gun Massacre may not be mind blowing, they're still extremely important nonetheless. In particular, a 25-minute piece in which first time (and last time) director Terry Loften is given an opportunity to tell his side of the story.

Nail Gun Massacre is a bad film. There is no doubt about it. It's poorly shot, edited, acted and written...you name it. It's just a train wreck of a motion picture. And I'm not trying to be mean, or spit on someone's hard work, I'm just being honest. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you and tell you how wonderful it is, because it's not. Now, that being said, there is some worth here. Those of us who love bad movies, so bad they are 'good' movies - enter a film that could easily battle for the crown of worst slasher film rip ever. But also...most entertaining.

I'd tell you about the story, but there really is none. Even director/producer/star/writer Terry Loften tells us that the script was chopped from about 80 pages to about 25 (due to budgetary restrictions?) and most of the would be actors were forced to adlib nearly all of their lines. Terry takes the blame for this one, as well he should.

Basically, we have a standard rape revenge story. A young woman is brutally raped by a gang of construction workers. Minutes later, there's a killer on the loose. Donning a camouflage outfit, duct taped motorcycle helmet and an air powered nail gun (complete with air compressor back pack). That's about it. Hot on the killer's trail (HA!) is an inept policeman and an even more inept doctor, but I could go on about them for hours.

It's not difficult to pick this film apart, or tear it to shreds for that matter. Almost easy in a sense...like giving a beating to the smallest kid in class. Nail Gun Massacre is what it is. And I would never recommend it on the basis of it being a 'good film' because it's not. However, I would recommend it based on the fact that it's a highly entertaining bad film. Let's get really shallow for a moment, shall we? The film is loaded to the gills with nudity, plenty of it. Including a scene early on in which a doofus leaves his incredibly hot 80's era girlfriend to 'chop some wood with his buddy' - what a douche. I think I saw her flashing her tits at a Motley Crue concert when I was in high school. Not to mention what can only be described as a collection of the most un-erotic sex scenes I have ever seen committed to film. Then there's the gore. Which basically amounts to some blood splatter and a few sawed off nails glued to different body parts. But still, there's plenty of it.

The killer. This has to be the craziest slasher getup I've ever seen. This outfit is anything but discrete. Topping it all off he/she drives around in a hearse. Insanity! Then there are the one-liners. Each time the killer...ummm...kills - he/she spouts off a cheesy one liner. (Terry takes the blame for these as well). Add to this the fact that the voice has been garbled/synthesized so you can't tell who's actually talking. Unbelievably bad.

So let's pick out a few of my most favorite bits o' badness, so bad they are good moments:

- A couple is busted by the killer while having sex on the hood of their car. The young man tells the killer something to the feect of 'I was trying to scratch an itch on her back!'

- Another young couple pulls into a Dairy Queen for their $1.19 grilled cheese special, the exchange between the young man, his girl and his ex who's a waitress needs to be seen to be believed.

- The grocery store. You'll know it when you see it.

- The good doctor's response to leaving a victim of the 'nail gun' laying dead in public. "She's not going anywhere, is she?"

- A woman's unbelievable crying fit when her boyfriend disappears into the woods only moments after walking away.

- A guy who's nailed and falls onto a grill, almost falls off of it so he pushes himself back on and tries to regain his balance.

- Last, but most certainly not least are almost all of the victims. They stand for what seems like hours, waiting to be killed and ham up their deaths...to death. "No, no, wait, you, no...no..."

Folks, this is truly just the tip of the cheese iceberg. The very, top of the tip.

Synapse has done a bang up job with this one, especially when you consider how this film has always looked on home video. The image is by no means perfect, but I'd lay good money down on the fact that this is exactly how the film would've looked projected on the big screen...warts n' all. Some minor (and I do mean minor) print damage and some sweet delicious grain. It looks great, and left a warm spot in my heart. I had a blast with this one. Audio quality is only hampered by what I can assume to be the films original limitations. Just crank it up a bit more than usual and you should be OK.

Extras include the aforementioned feature, Nailed: A Video Interview With Director Terry Loften (24-minutes and provided by Red Shirt Pictures). Terry seems like a genuinely nice guy and from both the film and this interview, it's evident that he (and the cast/crew) gave this film their all. Many of the films major set pieces are covered and just about any questions you'd have are answered. Who's really to blame for the lack of a story and/or poor dialogue? Did that couple really have sex up against that tree? Did that guy really urinate on the killer's leg in the woods? (In a slick move from Terry, this one is left open for debate) Also included is a promotional trailer (which appears to have been geared towards foreign markets) and a brief outtake reel with Loften commentary (sound was lost) that runs about 8-minutes.

Nail Gun Massacre. It's not a good film, but it is the epitome of bad 80's slasher films. Terry says himself; the film was made seriously, but was never meant to be taken seriously. It's one of the best of the worst, and I know that a lot of people out there hate to hear this.... but if you love bad, cheesy flicks, then you should really look no further than Nail Gun Massacre. Revel in its ineptitude now more than ever...just because. Do I recommend it? You betcha.