"Littered campgrounds, folding chairs
Feed Doritos to the bears
Honey, quick, the Polaroid!"
--Dead Kennedys, Winnebago Warrior

Peter and Marcia's marriage is on the rocks. Their conversations smolder with bitterness towards each other, embers glowing with the fuel of unspoken secrets. Desperate to try and revive the dying romance (an act which, watching these two interact, is like administering CPR to mummy), Peter drops two grand on camping equipment so that the two of them can spend the titular Long Weekend together, roughing it in the great outdoors.

"For [two thousand dollars]," Marcia complains, "We could've had a V.I.P. room at The Southern Cross."

"You being an authority on hotel rooms." Peter snaps back.

This aggression towards one another, unfortunately, is further diverted away from one another (after all, they are trying to reconcile), and instead is driven outwards towards nature. Peter acts out his frustration and emasculation by engaging in chest-pounding macho acts, chopping down trees with an axe ("Why?" asks Marcia. "Why not?" he retorts) and firing his rifle willy-nilly into the wild. Marcia does nothing to hide her disgust with the camping trip, dousing ants with insecticide and smashing eagle eggs in a blind rage. The two of them are pretty much just one mutation away from working for Dr. Killemoff. The final blow to Mother Nature is administered when, thinking their precious beach waters are invaded by a shark, Peter kills an innocent dugong (a marine mammal very similar to a manatee).

Much like any woman, Mother Nature only takes so much before striking back, and strike back she does...hard. Not content with the less-than-subtle warnings she sends to Marcia and Peter (swarms of flies, a spontaneous spear-gun firing), the animals of the wild start attacking the pair. Eagles and opossums are drawn to Peter like a magnet, and spiders and ducks bombard Marcia as she mewls helplessly in the Jeep. They're stranded out in the middle of nowhere, no one knows where they are...can they possibly survive what has become one very Long Weekend?

One of the last "when animals attack" movies of the Seventies, Long Weekend leapfrogs over its forebears by being so much more than a National Geographic special gone wrong. Instead of the obvious pissed-off animal horror in similar fare like Frogs (review here) and Eaten Alive, Long Weekend becomes almost supernatural in tone. While there are still chair-jumping scares present, the majority of the film is a slow-burn nightmare, watching Marcia and Peter's sanity wither away under the assault of Mother Nature and each other. Their bitterness towards one another snowballs as they are sent in circles, trying desperately to escape the Hell of their own making, all while being antagonized by Nature and haunted by the carcass of the unfortunate dugong. Nature is portrayed as a sort of sentient being, the puppeteer pulling the strings of the animals avenging the crimes committed against them.

Of course, this sort of psychological warfare wouldn't work without solid actors, and that's where Long Weekend delivers the goods. The only characters in the movie (not counting a few one-line people and the militant menagerie) are Peter (John Hargreaves) and Marcia (Briony Behets), who have a definite chemistry with each other. It's about as volatile as an acid and a base together, but there is chemistry nonetheless. Despite his attempts at sweetness towards his estranged wife, Peter is still hurt and angry by what she has done to him, and he lashes out from time to time. Marcia turns down his sexual advances only to tearfully masturbate in the tent and to lash back at Peter. Their moments of old love occasionally bubble up through the muck of their hatred, but it's obvious that these two can't stand each other, and there is no comic relief to make their emotions any easier to swallow.

Having never even heard of Long Weekend before it arrived in the mail, I am even more amazed by Synapse's royal treatment for this Australian rarity. Remastered in hi-def, the movie manages to look far better than should even be possible. Despite some grain and a little murkiness in darker scenes, the colors practically leap off the screen, especially in the documentary-style nature footage. It's definitely a product of the Seventies (check out their matching Adidas track jackets), but it certainly doesn't look it. Audio has been remixed in a 5.1 format, and is equally awesome. While dialogue can be a little slurred at times (more the fault of accents and fast talking than poor recording), the sounds effects are crisp and clean. The quality is there all the way down from the 5.1 to the stereo mix, and even the original mono (yay!). However, the 5.1 mix deserves kudos for using the surrounds sparingly but very effectively, using them only when absolutely necessary, but going above and beyond the call of duty when they are used. Extras are also very nice, and feature audio commentary, a still gallery featuring a 1995 interview with John Hargreaves, and the original trailer.

Even for those of you that don't really care for "nature bites back" cinema, Long Weekend is a fantastic movie. If you look past your misconceptions, there's a very enjoyable, creepy thriller to be had here. It's one of the deepest movies in the subgenre, and it comes with my highest possible recommendation.