Remember a few years back, when the Chupacabra (Or "goatsucker") had a pseudo-fan following? The damn thing became an icon for Central America, with Don Bluth-esque renditions of the beast kicking soccer balls and waving Puerto Rican flags. Truly, deeply strange. Soon after that, The Blair Witch Project came out, and wowed people with its over hyped SOV thrills of people crying and running away from shit. Now, if only someone had found some way to mix these two great tastes (snicker) into a stew of late nineties pop-culture wackiness! Why, someone HAS! His name is Joe Castro, and he's got a LOT o' 'splainin' to do!

I'm not going to bother giving a plot synopsis or explain characters. The script is an absolute train-wreck, with zero-dimensional characters and nonstop running from one location to the next. We've got the young, spunky cryptozoologist who is guaranteed to make it out alive. We've got the black ex-Marine, nicknamed "Army" (Ha! Get it? Military puns are so priceless!) who is pretty much marked for death, being a black guy in a horror movie. There's a cameo by a toothless witch, who shuffles around with a walking stick covered in bones. There are some cameramen and other hapless pre-victims looking for an excuse to get attacked by the Chupacabra and show off some gross-out FX. After a sufficient body count has been amassed, the Chupacabra is brought down, and we're treated to an autopsy scene to show off the Chupacabra, which is the only silver lining to this cloud of suck. For a latex bodysuit, the Chupacabra is pretty damn cool looking, as well as original. Castro shucked all of those waifish images of the Chupacabra, giving us a big, badass mother. It's for our benefit, of course, because I doubt that the movie would have been nearly as effective with a midget killing everyone.

It's sad, because I really wanted to like this movie. It's obvious Joe Castro loves his craft: he made the aforementioned chupa suit, and his audio commentary is full of upbeat bits about how he feels about the movie. Some of his editing ideas were good as well, with documentary-style interviews to pop in from time to time and break up the action. Unfortunately, these few good bits aren't enough to keep the movie from being dragged down by the other weak elements. Acting, in particular, was thoroughly awful, with people delivering lines like they're in high school drama club. Shame.

However, in usual Troma fashion, this DVD is loaded. They've given us almost EVERY little bit of supplemental material this movie could warrant. We've got audio commentary, a crapload of deleted scenes, an alternate ending, bloopers, a fun little clip with Joe Castro himself explaining how to get the chupa suit on, trailers and, of course, The Radiation March. The feature itself is shown in a decent full-frame picture. Audio is a decently clear stereo mix. Nothing award-winning, but neither is this picture.

I love it when an independent film comes along and pleasantly surprises me. It can rise above its budget limitations and lack of major studio support to bring us an experience that shows what filmmaking is all about. Unfortunately, Legend of the Chupacabra isn't that movie. Sorry Joe, maybe next time.