It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You can get lots of yard work done. You can take a stroll with your sweetie through the spring gardens. You can finally change the oil in your truck. But you're not gonna do any of that, are you? No, you're gonna stay cooped up inside and watch the 1959 'classic' THE HEAD - you know you want to...

The full moon reveals the creepy house of Dr. Abel, scientist and kook. A figure lurking in the shadows observes as the hunchbacked nurse Irene delivers a package to the Dr.'s assistant, Walter. Walter confides to Irene that Dr. Abel is confident he can repair her mis-formed body soon; she is elated, of course. After she leaves, the stranger steps forward and is granted access o the house. This is Dr. Ude (rhythms with 'crude"), who is here to join Dr. Abel's research team. He and Walter take an immediate dislike to each other. Dr. Ude joins Dr. Abel in the latter's spacious lab, where he works on bizarre grafting techniques. Dr. Abel has created 'Serum Z', which allows him to keep limbs alive in preparation for transplants. He's even managed to keep a dog's head alive. Dr. Ude is impressed and anxious to assist in Abel's experiments...maybe a little too anxious.

Later, Dr. Ude goes to a local nightclub, where he observes vivacious Lily dancing and drinking the night away, much to the displeasure of her artist boyfriend Paul. He returns to the lab, where DR. Abel informs Ude and Walter they must perform a transplant - on him! As the terminal donor is brought into the surgery room, Abel commands Walter and technician Burt to follow Ude's leadership absolutely. Unfortunately, the donor dies before the operation can take place. Ude is still determined to go through with it, but Walter objects. So naturally Ude kills him and makes it look like the hapless assistant left town. Dr. Ude uses Serum Z to save Abel's head, in the name of science of course. When he awakes, the good Dr. Abel is horrified at what he's become. Ude is determined to extract all of Abel's secrets from the decapitated doctor. Irene stops by and asks about Walter; Ude slyly lies to cover his murder. Furthermore, he forces Abel (through the door so she won't see he's just a head) to convince Irene that Ude can perform her body surgery. As Irene waits, Ude returns to the bar. Lily is acting the total slut, yet we find out she's not all she appears to be. Ude knows her secrets, and under the fear of his revealing her past, Lily accompanies Ude back to the lab. Can you guess what happens next? Will Dr. Ude get away with his abominable scheme? What will become of poor Irene and Lily? How can Paul save the day? And what the heck is Abel gonna do considering he's just a dang head in a washbasin?

Umm, is it just me or does THE HEAD sound more than a little like THE BRAIN THAT WOULN'T DIE? Actually, this film came out a few years before it's more notorious counterpart. Both have the requisite mad doctors, strippers, and secret formulas. But while BRAIN has the great 'mutant in the closet' mayhem scene, THE HEAD strives for a more conventional approach. Which is to say there is a whole lot of talking going on. The film drags on for-freakin'-ever it seems. Definite 3 cups of coffee viewing. The crew on THE HEAD is from the German expression school (ala CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI), so there is a great emphasis on atmosphere and shot structure. To this end, the filmmakers succeed fairly well. The use of shadows is very evocative of the early horror silent classics. The staging of scenes also parallels the expressionist structure. However, the acting itself is bland to the point of sleepwalking, and actual 'action' is non-existent - but they talk about everything, sometimes two or three times. The picture quality is not very good. There is a large amount of grain and drop outs throughout the film, as well as several very bad splices. Also, a scratch on the left side of the screen is present through most of the film. Audio is very tinny, with pops and hum mixed in for good measure. Which is too bad, because the score is pretty creepy and captures the mood of the film quite well (back to the 'old school' influence). Overall THE HEAD is worth a look only if one is interested in the evolution of the expression school of film; otherwise, it's too long, too talky, and too damn dull.

Alpha Video has released THE HEAD on DVD without much ado. There are chapters stops included, but that's it. The only other 'extra' is a bevy of other Alpha Video public domain releases, which as one might surmise, is rather lengthy, but not much in the excitement department.

THE HEAD may go down in the annuals of horror film history as one of the first in the ever-popular 'head in a basin' category, but the film itself is dull as dishwater. If you must watch a movie in this sub-genre, stick with THE BRAIN THAT WOULN'T DIE. At best, that's only a 2-cup of coffee snoozer.