Well, it's now official: EVERYBODY distributes horror movie double features. I suppose it's because of the sheer number of horror flicks whose rights can be bought for a song, or maybe it's because horror kids will shell out for a double feature regardless of its crap-osity. Hell, maybe it's even a respectful wink back to the days of drive-ins and independently owned movie theaters, when value was king and not Josh Hartnett. Sigh...

Back to my original point, the horror movie double feature has become a near constant for DVD buyers. While some two-fer deals prove to be a great value for movie lovers (MGM's pairing of their old Vincent Price classics) others are of extremely questionable merit. Like a sex-starved tart in one of his own movies, the Massimilliano Cerchi double feature from Sub Rosa straddles that line, giving us a surprisingly capable and original movie paired up with a rather civilian effort. While I am definitely questioning the demand for this package (one of Cerchi's most infamous efforts was Creatures From The Abyss (review here) after all), it definitely deserves a peek.

Hellinger

Poor scarred Melissa. Apparently, watching an undead preacher pop out her dad's eyes has had a negative effect on the poor thing's psyche. She's constantly attending therapy, where her shrink is understandably skeptical of her childhood memories. Unfortunately for Melissa, her past comes back to haunt her when her preacher-man starts paying her visits again, and slaughtering those that get in his way. Toss in a heavily tattooed private detective cousin, tons of juicy murders, a bastard of an evangelist (is there any other kind?), and a boyfriend who may or may not be a killer, and you've got a big bowl of party mix.

While the synopsis may make the movie sound trite and cliched, Hellinger was a fun and well-done flick. Cerchi's use of light-dark contrast is badass, and Hellinger himself is a very visually creepy character with his alabaster skin and black eyes. True, Wayne Petrocelli's vocal stylings make Hellinger sound like he's getting perpetually kicked in the kiwis, but the overall effect is slick. Cerchi also uses his video camera like a true film camera, which helps its style immensely. The direction style, a mishmash of countless directors (mostly Fulci with a splash of Clive Barker...dig those chains!) thrown into one big stew pot, works very well. Also helping the feature is the assistance of executive producers Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz. Having these b-movie noblemen helping out certainly helped elevate this movie to something more than it should normally have been. Combine that with some nice gore effects, the aforementioned kickass lighting, and one of the most disturbing rape-murder scenes committed to film, and you've got a religious horror slam-dunk.

Paired up with Hellinger is the rather mediocre Holy Terror. It concerns an undead demonic nun (the best kind!), who forces a real estate agent to rent the house she possesses out to nubile young couples. If he doesn't, she attacks him with lens flares and black metal songs (that'll learn 'im!) until he agrees to her eee-vil plan. He rents the house out to one such nubile young couple (played by a Playboy Playmate and a boy band singer from '4 Now'...I don't like where this is heading) who can't believe their good fortune. However, they are haunted with disturbing dreams and horrid visions. Not to be swayed from their hipster twenty something social lives, they throw a party (with MORE Playboy Playmates...uh oh...) and start living horror movie cliches until the incredibly rushed and confusing ending.

Whereas Hellinger emerged happy and clean from its bath of classiness and originality, Holy Terror seems like the unbathed best friend with grimy hands. It's pedestrian at best, and dreadful at its worst. Everybody turns in a terrible job, acting out their cookie-cutter roles with amateurish aplomb. Not only that, but a little recommendation for Mr. Cerchi: if you're going to hire Playboy Playmates to be in your movie, have them talk less, and wear MUCH less. The movie is rife with cliches, with lame hallucinations and one of the least tense Ouija board sessions ever witnessed. It's not ALL bad: some of the kills are satisfying (mostly because everybody in this movie is a jerk), and the beating scene, with the nun bashing a girl's head in with a crucifix, a church bell chiming with every blow, is pretty slick. Unfortunately, this does little to bring it up much higher than simple trash horror.

Presentation was pretty damn good, considering. Both movies looked better than any other SOV I've seen, with nice sharp images and solid colors. There were a few visual glitches here and there, but nothing too horrid. Audio was similarly clear, albeit oddly mixed. Some scenes were incomprehensible due to overly loud background noise drowning out the dialogue. Extras are slim (understandable, given the stuffing of two movies on one single-sided DVD), and include audio commentary, a few trailers, and a still gallery.

While not exactly the one-two punch of goodness one could hope for, Hellinger/Holy Terror proves to be an entertaining set of movies. If you watch the both of them in one sitting, use the end credits of Hellinger to mix the screwdrivers that you'll be drinking through Holy Terror, and you'll be a-ok!