If you were to tell me that a new horror flick had been released and the star of the show is a gingerbread cookie that comes to life and goes on a murderous rampage, I'd probably chuckle in astonishment and disbelief. Now, if you were to tell me the same story, but add to the fact that Charles Band was behind it...I'd probably be inclined to understand. While Band has made a career out of films involving inanimate objects coming to life to kill (mostly in the form of dolls...and many of them), I do believe this is the first time that he's tackled the snack food market. And unfortunately, much like many of his previous efforts under his new Wizard Entertainment moniker (most of which we've already covered on this site), Gingerdead Man still leaves more than a bit to be desired.

The story plays second fiddle to the ideas surrounding it and the films scant running time. Even with an overly long opening (which is an obvious attempt at ripping off Danny Elfman and Tim Burton) and ending credits sequence, the film barely runs 75 minutes. Without the credits, probably about an hour or so. As the film opens, a diner is in the process of being robbed by a gun-toting brute named Millard Findlemeyer and a family is being executed. Sounds disturbing, and it would be if it weren't carried out in such a 'movie of the week' fashion (even with the lunacy of Gary Busey as the gunman). In a weird unexplained moment of weakness the gunman let's daughter Sara (played by Robin Sydney) live. Probably so we can have the rest of the movie - or maybe so we can see her pouty 'I'm scared, let me go' look just one more time.

Flash forward to Betty's Bakery a few years later, (the family owned bakery mind you) and Sara continues to knead dough with her coworkers Julia (Daniela Melgoza) and Brick (Jonathan Chase) while her mother seems to need the bottle even more. Although it's worth mentioning that Sara walks around this movie set like she has no idea what she should be doing. As a matter of fact, it doesn't look like any of these kids really belong working in this 'bakery.' When a mysterious box of cookie seasoning is dropped off one day, trouble begins. No one even takes into account the fact that Findlemeyer was cremated day's prior. The 'seasoning' is (without question) added to the dough, and when Brick slices open his hand, it appears to be specifically held above the container. Brick and Sara don't even realize he's bleeding into the freshly seasoned cookie dough. You know why? Because they're not supposed to!

This activity is followed by the use of an enormously large cookie cutter and...Voila, the bad guy is reincarnated as a fucking cookie! But not before he's baked (all by himself) in an industrial sized walk-in oven! Yeah, you read that right. Stop the insanity!

Our characters are now held hostage in a booby trapped(!) bakery. Stereotypes galore! There's the virginal survivor of the first attack and her drunken mother. Then there's the evil developer who's opened up a competing business across the street (of course he's been trying to get the bakery to close), his stuck up daughter and her hip, uninterested in anything boyfriend. Did someone say love triangle? Oh, and of course, there's the killer cookie voiced by Gary Busey. Somehow, he manages to retain the upper hand for nearly 50-minutes of the films' total running time. Don't ask me how...please.

While I'm usually all for ridiculous fun, this film is really nothing more than an exercise in tedium. Even at about an hour in length, it seems long, with the main issue being that absolutely NOTHING happens here! Our victims hang around the bakery when they can easily leave. The cookie is not nearly the threat that he thinks he is (as evidenced by the films ultimate conclusion). There's only one thing and one thing only that could save this abysmal viewing experience (which is really a cheap Childs Play rip off from start to finish) from being a total wash out...and that's sex and/or violence and we barely even get any of that! There's not much more than a knife in the head and a few blood splatters along with a high school kiss and one of the tamest cat fights ever committed to film. I'm sorry, but this film really has nothing to hold it together as either a solid horror flick or a plain old exploitation piece.

I guess it wouldn't be a complete package if audio and video didn't leave a bit to be desired as well, and they do. The stereo audio track is acceptable if mediocre while the non-anamorphic widescreen image raises a couple of questions itself. First and foremost, what ratio was this film shot in? As evidence by a few of the screen grabs, some of the compositions seem a bit off - to say the least. While clarity of the image is drab and muted. Extras include a brief behind-the-scenes segment that's far more interesting than the film itself, a blooper reel and trailers for about 7 Charles Band films, Gingerdead Man included. Turns out that this film was YEARS in the making with some excerpts from some early CGI tests used for the killer cookie. Crazy thing is, these unused CGI techniques are far more successful in delivering the camp quality it appears they were going for.

If it seems as if I'm being a bit harsh here, maybe I am. But it's only because I like Charles Band and expect more from him and his crew. His track record thus far with his new company has not been good. If anybody could have turned a film about a killer cookie into a fun late night romp, it's Charles Band, but even he missed the mark with this one. Hopefully he can get his act together with his next film although (sad to say) I'm not holding my breath.