If you've been into cult film for even a short period of time, you've at least heard of Filipino Fenomenon Weng Weng (Hooray for forced alliteration!) For years, Weng was almost a Kaiser Soze of the exploitation industry: an actor spoken about at conventions, at booze-soaked house parties, between friends. Those who were lucky enough to have seen it spoke in high regard, sometimes revulsion, of a 2-foot-9 man in a white Travolta suit who used a “gang of gimmicks” and his own crotch-pummeling fists to fell a syndicate of drug dealers in his bid to get at the mysterious “Oz behind the curtain” Mr. Giant.

Thanks to Mondo Macabro, who give us films that truly do represent “The Wild Side of World Cinema,” as well as continuing their own “Dick Randall Collection,” we've got the golden opportunity to see what the hell everyone was talking about without having to go through outside-region discs or shoddy bootlegs. We can see if all the tales told were factual or not.

It's all true. Dear god, it's all true.

Despite his portrayal of Baby Moses, or the alleged porn roles (an allegation I will not investigate, thank you very much), Weng's most (in)famous role will always be Agent 00, who was introduced in this very film, and returned in The Impossible Kid (which is still floating around in DVD limbo), to battle oddly-named villains and bed some of the most hideous women in the East.

We're introduced to Weng Weng as he participates in MP exercises, running with an assault rifle as tall as he is and making jumps that, proportionately, are pretty harrowing. He may only be leaping down 10 feet, but when you factor in that the man is under 3 feet tall, that's a pretty impressive feat. Does my 6-foot-3 frame feel like tumbling down 20-odd feet? Hell no.

The action doesn't stop there, of course. Henchmen of the mysterious Mr. Giant pull off a daring daylight kidnapping, capturing the doughy Dr. Van Kohler. Mr. Giant, being a madman who wants nothing more than to rule the world, demands Van Kohler cough up the plans for his deadly N-Bomb so that he may hold the world hostage.

It's worth mentioning that, for about 90 percent of the film, Mr. Giant communicates with everyone through a mirror with rows of lights behind it, making an almost tunnel effect. If I ever become an evil madman (or hell, a retail store manager), I think it would be in my best interest to invest in one of these communicators/disco mirrors for threats, scheming, and job interviews.

Back in Weng's plot thread, he saves the life of Lola, a young woman who is being “shot at two or three times a week” by the goons of the evil Columbus, who wanted Lola to join his syndicate so he could “peddle her pretty bod as a prostitute.” Not willing to let such injustice stand, Weng joins up with Lola to hunt down Columbus and kill him. Their first stop? A hideout packed to the gills with some of the sleaziest men ever committed to film. No offense to the Philippines, but it seems like their criminal element would be far more effective if they spent more time committing crime and less time trying to find the tightest, silkiest shirts with the biggest butterfly collars.

With Columbus dead (a cold-blooded murder that ends with Weng Weng bumping his noggin and crying “Ow, my little head!”), Weng turns his sights on the drug-trafficking Mr. Giant. In a scene that's a rather amusing of Bond's infamous “Q” scenes, Weng receives an arsenal of gadgets, ranging from a ballpoint pen/blowgun, x-ray glasses, a ring that detects poison (a ring that serves almost no purpose except for one throwaway scene featuring, you guessed it, an ugly woman), and a bladed, radio controlled hat that even Odd Job would wince at.

Weng's first stop? A bakery that's a front for Mr. Giant's drug trade, where they bake bags of some unidentifiable powder (Cocaine? Heroin? Opium?) into loaves of bread. “Nobody could begin to guess! There's a lot of dough in this dough,” one henchman cackles, “the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. Happy pushing...happy pushing. The boss says to cover every kindergarten and sandbox. We're gonna teach 'em something about pleasure!”

Wait...what?

Which brings up my second suggestion to the Philippines' criminals: don't bother trying to sell drugs to “every kindergarten and sandbox.” These kids don't have much disposable income, so unless you've got one hell of an accountant to sort out all of the nickels, dimes, and lucky marbles you'll receive as payment (what's the exchange rate on an aggy nowadays, anyways?), it's simply not worth it.

Weng, of course, uses his diminutive frame to disarm the three men responsible for their bread haul, with the assistance of Irma, the “inside girl” who was planted in the syndicate. Irma, unfortunately, is discovered, and held hostage with Dr. Van Kohler. Weng is sent in to Mr. Giant's headquarters on Hidden Island (which, ironically enough, is well detailed on the map) via jetpack for a final showdown with the criminal mastermind.

For Your Height Only is going to be remembered for many things. The dialogue is purely priceless, with characters spouting off awesome lines like “Don't be a nosy parker, Paco. With that curiosity of yours, you're liable to wake up one day and find yourself dead!” “The forces of good are our sworn enemy, and I repeat, they must be exterminated...and I mean lethally!” Dare I forget the awesome, pump-up-your-goons line of “You dumb dodos, you blew another chance due to poor planning! You gotta take that ball into the end zone!” It's hard to say whether this is due to weak translation from the original Tagalog, or just an attempt by the filmmakers to make the movie as silly as possible. In either case, the results are wholly memorable. The music is also amazing, featuring weird brass-heavy disco numbers that seem torn right out of a period Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

Of course, everyone will remember the movie for Weng Weng. Despite having the debilitating disease progeria (which makes your body age unnaturally fast), Weng Weng is one spry guy. He jumps amazing heights, engages in Jackie Chan-esque acrobatics, and does it all with a smile on his face. Sure, he can be a bit of a one-note joker (by the end of the movie, dozens of testicles have been battered by him), but his smile and enthusiasm are infectious. Even after gunning down mobsters with his tiny submachine gun (“a real humdinger!”), he smirks and giggles with childish glee. When he checks out secretaries with his x-ray specs, he claps his hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Hell, he even finds time out of his busy sack-smacking schedule to do the hustle at Disco Island. If you don't at least smile watching Weng gyrate his tiny hips, you're a stone-hearted monster.

But for Mondo Macabro, the feisty firecracker that is Weng Weng wasn't nearly enough! No, they had to make this disc into a “High Kicking Low Kicking Double Feature,” and followed up Weng's first spy outing with the Bruce Le (not a typo) spermicidal espionage flick Challenge of the Tiger.

You almost feel bad for Challenge, though. Trying to follow up behind Weng Weng is like being the band that plays after GWAR. People are so stunned and amazed by the sheer lunacy of FYHO, they're utterly spent. How could Challenge of the Tiger possibly stand up to the hat-tossing, ball-punching fury of Agent 00?

Pretty damn well, surprisingly.

For those unfamiliar with Bruce Le or his conceptual brethren Bruce Lai, Bruce Thai, Dragon Lee, et al, they represent one of films' stranger times: the Bruce Lee cash-in. So desperate were filmmakers to cash in on Bruce Lee's explosive rise to fame, even though his career was cut short by his supposed murder in 1973. Thus, quite a few actors who bore a passing resemblance to The Dragon suddenly found themselves with quite a bit of work, from moderately Bruceploitative work like Challenge of the Tiger to complete cash-ins like—I kid you not—The Clones of Bruce Lee. The latter featured a scientist cloning the recently deceased action star and sending his clones out not no make low-budget martial arts flicks, but to fight crime. So apparently, Bruce Lee wasn't just a movie star, he was a full-blown crime fighter! Guess playing Kato back in '66 had an effect on the guy.

Ahem...back on track. Challenge of the Tiger opens with a scientist celebrating his greatest accomplishment: a chemical that completely sterilizes its male targets. Any mutterings from the audience as to why this is a bad idea are quickly squelched (or in some cases reinforced) by a pair of assassins who gun down the professor and his assistant and snatch the formula. Taking a well-needed rest after going into outer space, James Bond was unavailable, so the CIA sends in two of its best agents to find the formula: the lean, mean Huang Lung (Le), and his insufferable, womanizing partner Richard Cannon (Richard Harrison). The pair go all over the world in an attempt to hunt down whomever has the formula. Unfortunately for them, they've got their work cut out for them, as the formula is in the hands of superspy/former Miss Spain 1982 Maria and her cadre of flunkies, who range from weaselly kung fu henchmen to steroid fueled meatheads. Not only that, but the communist Viet Cong are also looking for the formula (you know they're communist because they call each other “comrade” and crow about their imminent destruction of capitalism).

From the plot synopsis above, you would think that Challenge of the Tiger would be a fairly normal martial arts/espionage flick, and plot wise, you're right. However, it's the strange, almost unrelated set pieces of the film that take it fully into Mondo Macabro territory. Only a few minutes into the film, Huang and Richard find themselves at a bullfighting arena hunting down the elusive Maria and the formula. Events transpire that lead to Huang fighting a batch of goons with a matador's hat and fighting a bull with his bare hands, the latter of which culminates in a ridiculously cool animated insert showing the bull's skull shattering under the punishing fist of Huang Lung. In Hong Kong, Richard and Bruce fight off assassins on motorcycles , engage in seemingly random fistfights (seriously, these henchmen are like ants in a potato chip bag...they're everywhere!), and find time to defend the honor of pixie haired Chinese women while wearing a thoroughly upsetting speedo . Oh, and best of all, is the slow-motion topless tennis sequence , with shots of Harrison serving (and looking like a Gillette commercial) to a shirtless beauty whose pendulous breasts seem to have a mind of their own.

As far as interesting characters go, you really can't do much better than Le and Harrison for actors. Le, fitting with the “Bruce Lee clone” moniker, certainly looks like the late actor, from the ropey physique to the intensity of his fighting style. His outfits are completely ridiculous (usually a t-shirt under a blazer, predating Miami Vice by 4 years), and his hair is awesomely bad...almost a cross between Dario Argento and Prince Valiant (not too dissimilar to Weng Weng's come to think of it). Harrison, however, takes the cake for sheer...god, I don't even think there's a word to describe him. Harrison is almost inhuman in his masculinity, rocking a coppery shock of chest hair (as well as a matching tuft on his back) and a moustache that screams “Hey ladies! Free rides!” Seriously, the guy practically sweats Brut. However, he keeps true to his ”lover-not-a-fighter” creed for most of the movie, leaving the nastiest fisticuffs to Huang while he sits back and watches or makes another attempt to get in a woman's pants. It's fun, pure and simple.

Before you watch FYHO, Mondo Macabro pops in a disclaimer apologizing for the poor quality of the print. The picture quality, at times, does get a little beat-up. Grain is visible throughout the production, but what else would one expect out of a micro-budget Filipino exploitation flick produced by Dick Randall? For the most part, though, colors seem well saturated and even nighttime scenes are easy to watch and understand. Challenge of the Tiger seems to fare much better, with some scenes actually making me gasp in awe...it's a very well-restored movie, to say the least. There were a few instances of blurry edges, particularly in the animated segment mentioned earlier, but again, nothing too horrible. Audio is clear without sounding too redone, keeping the low-budget spirit up without sacrificing quality. I seriously doubt you serious technophiles would be using this disc to show off your awe-inspiring home theater setup, anyways.

Extras are slim, but include Mondo Macabro's always watchable trailer reel (man, do I love that song!), still galleries, and a few biographies of the actors within. Most amusing is the essay “Weng Weng: An Appreciation” penned by DVD Maniacs writer (and friend to the Monsters) Ian Jane. It's a hoot and a half.

Even though Weng Weng may have succumbed to the ravages of his progeria, his spirit lives on in his films, as weird and offbeat as they may be. Mondo Macabro, as usual, has done their job admirably of bringing us the weird and wonderful movies of the world with perhaps the weirdest and most wonderful of them all. Weng Weng, wherever he may be, would give it a thumbs up, and so do I. The inclusion of Challenge of the Tiger only sweetens the deal. Highly, highly recommended.

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