You could sift through the whole huge list of "Misfit Strikes Back" horror movies and never find one as outlandishly silly as Eric Weston's "Evilspeak". Clearly inspired by Brian De Palma's adaptation of Stephen King's "Carrie" and distant cable-flick cousin to revenge tales like "Laserblast", "Fear No Evil" and "Fade to Black", "Evilspeak" covers familiar territory in generally languid form - before wrapping things up with a cacophonous clattering of crazy carnage in the movie's final frames. It's a relatively rote and familiar tale, but one worth checking out for a few specific reasons - not the least of which is the enjoyably goofy lead performance from genre immortal Clint Howard.

Stanley Coopersmith is an amazing loser. Ward of the state and charity case of what's seemingly the world's cruelest military academy, Stanley spends his days deflecting hatred from everyone he sees. Fellow students, soccer coaches, faculty members, even the freakin' PRIESTS treat Stanley like a piece of dog doo. Already we can see where this is headed. Unfairly punished (for being a mediocre soccer player!), Stanley finds himself stuck down in the grimiest bowels of the academy's labyrinthine basement, and it's there that our limp-noodled loser discovers an eeeeeevil book. Seems that the incantations within this book, when translated through an early 80s Apple computer, will bring about the return of an extremely nasty undead Satanist called "Esteban".

And when you're an astonishingly dork-o-riffic orphan who earns abuse from virtually every person in the world, you just know that affiliation with the spirit of an undead Satan worshipper is gonna come in handy.

The biggest problem with "Evilspeak" (aside from the woeful FX and intermittently atrocious acting) is that of a set-up that's as long-winded as it is predictable. The movie takes just about forever to get down to the actual bloodletting, and while these sequences are deliciously nasty, you're forced to wade through a whole lot of repetitive exposition and terribly simplistic plot devices to get to the gore. It's made clear very early (and very often) that Stanley is eventually going to rise up and wreak unholy vengeance upon his tormentors...but DAMN if there's not a whole lot of languid chit-chat and aimless subplotting that takes place before the brain-smashing buffet of brutal bloodletting.

Recommendable only to the staunchest of horror geeks (like myself, of course), "Evilspeak" is a fairly noteworthy little horror chestnut for a variety of colorful reasons: 1. It marks one of the VERY rare lead performances from Genre Guru / Character Actor Clint Howard...plus he has HAIR in this one! Pretty neat. 2. It was one of the "Video Nasties" that the UK censors banned from British video stores, thereby elevating its reputation as Cinema Contrversia Obscura among people who actually care about stuff like that (like myself, of course) 3. It uses the murder of a cute little animal to whip our "Oooooh, GET those bastards!" bloodlust into a frenzy. 4. It has a sequence in which a busty naked lady, fresh out of a nice refreshing shower, is devoured to death by a pack of massive (and exceedingly hungry) pigs. 5. The last 10 minutes consists of wholesale slaughter of the ickiest kind.

Recent champion of horror movies both overlooked and cult-centric, Anchor Bay delivers "Evilspeak" in a relatively impressive little package. Though not the full-fledged Director's Cut one would hope for (there's a version floating around that's a good 20 minutes longer), approximately 20 seconds of previously excised gore have been reinstated for this release. (Research indicates that those extra 20 minutes consist of not much in the Kills Department, so perhaps we're simply better off without them.) Even those watching "Evilspeak" for the first time may be able to figure out which frames are the "new scenes" - partially because they're reallllly gross, but mainly because this footage looks grainy and all-but-entirely bleached out. (Check out the final frame in the Giant Pigs Eat Naked Girl sequence and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.)

Also included on the DVD is a feature-length audio commentary between director/co-writer Eric Weston, cult hero Clint Howard, and self-proclaimed "production roustabout" Warren Lewis. A fairly arid and uneventful yak-track, it offers some aimless recollections from Weston, although Mr. Howard does all he can to keep the information flowing smoothly. Clearly aware of what commentary tracks are about, Clint pokes and prods Weston for info - to very little avail. The trio of participants, like many commentary chatterers, seems to be under the impression that their film has a resoundingly impactful or influential one - which is clearly not the case with "Evilspeak".

Most of the track consists of the filmmakers being impressed with how they stretched their budget or noting WHERE a particular scene was filmed. Fans will certainly want to give this track a spin, but don't expect anything too enlightening. Other goodies include the film's original theatrical trailer and a poster/stills gallery. The transfer is a not-half-bad Widescreen (1.77:1) Anamorphic affair, while audio is presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono. Not exactly crystal-clear quality, but hey: the only other place you'll find this movie is on HBO, and there it'd be freakin' fullscreen and missing the newly reconstituted gore gravy.

"Evilspeak" is a film for which I've retained fond memories these past 20-some years. A new visit with the movie reminds me that I must have had a high tolerance for tiresome plot exposition. But apparently an underage horror freak like myself was willing to forgive a whole lot of yawning plot ploddings if the flick finished up with an absolute orgy of grisly grue, as "Evilspeak" certainly does. Plus it's not every day you get to see R.G. Armstrong and Hamilton Camp appear alongside an undead Satan worshipper that was reanimated by a computer which, nowadays, would probably melt instantaneously if you connected it to a 28k dial-up modem. And I believe I already mentioned the Giant Satanic Hogs Who Eat People.