I should have suspected what I was in for, with a title like this. At least it's honest. There are demons that figure into what little plot the movie has, and there is a lot of sex. So much, in fact, that if you cut out all the pole dancing, shaved beaver flashing, boob jiggling and girl-on-girl action you'd probably only have twenty minutes left in the movie. Last week I reviewed Ligeia, a film which straddled the line between horror and softcore porn in such a way that I wasn't sure what kind of a film it was. I had no such problem with Demon Sex. If you're looking for a softcore porn movie with Brinke Stevens, then this is your lucky day because if you've got the $9.99, this movie will deliver what you want.

If, on the other hand, you're looking for a well-told story, Demon Sex is overpriced by about fifteen bucks. The incompetently-told plot is this: centuries ago, matriarchal demons (or aliens) walked the earth, and the skull of one such creature has turned up in the lab of a Harry Knowles look-alike who, after years of running tests on fruitless hoax after hoax, finally comes across the real thing.

He does what any scientist would do after discovering the key to validating his life's work -- he heads over to the nearest strip club, where the owner is auditioning a new dancer. The gal, who is punk rock in the way Avril Levigne is punk rock, is performing a kind of "rough" routine with a fellow that involves stabbing with a retractable knife, some biting, and a lot of bumping and grinding. Ideally, this is the kind of scene that would make Russ Meyer proud. Unfortunately, it's probably making him squirm in his grave.

After her audition, the owner of the club tries to angle for a little one on one time with the peppy punkette, but she apparently has enough moral fiber to turn him down, despite the fact that she's basically homeless, with a pregnant best friend in tow, and desperately needs the job. After wondering where she can go and what she can do to get out of her situation, another woman at the club suggests she visit the house on the hill where, unknown to the punkette, a cult of demon worshippers led by the aforementioned Brinke Stevens has set up shop.

After an inititiation that involves her pregnant friend drinking blood and herself being cut up several times with a knife, the punkette is admitted into this sisterhood. The skull being worked on by the scientist is actually the skull of the demon this sisterhood has been waiting for centuries to re-awaken on earth. I actually wondered why a gal who'd rather live on the street than sleep with a sleazy guy would subject herself to being cut up with a knife, but Demon Sex is a movie that is best watched not wondering about logic questions.

After about another forty minute stretch of attractive, naked women (it's a tough job, writing for Monsters at Play, I know) the gals manage to get their hands on the DNA samples taken from the alien/demon skull, dispatch the fellows involved in the research on the skull as well as the club owner (some very well done decapitations are present in these scenes, including one in which the severed head rolls down a hill), the gals manage to mutate the pregnant girl's fetus into a new, living demon by infusing it with the DNA sample, and the stage is set for Brinke Stevens and her mutant baby to, in the immortal words of Ed Wood via Bela Lugosi, "conquer ze woold!"

Oops. I guess I spoiled the ending there. Well, the folks making this movie didn't really care about the plot, so why should I?

The folks at Outlaw Cinema at least cared enough to give you three short films on the dvd, any one of which is slightly better than the feature. Fans of the Simpsons may remember Seymour Skinner's summation of his beloved miss Enda Krabapple as "Educational and offering mild thrills". That's kind of my feeling about the shorts, only without the educational part.

Demon Treasure features Brinke Stevens and subversive cinema historian and impressario Johnny Legend in a story of hidden treasure and witchcraft that features beheadings remarkably similiar to those in Demon Sex. There's some good model work featured in the film (and I should point out that the computer-generated exteriors in Demon Sex were also very well done, and deserved to be in a much better movie), but it's pretty hokey for the most part and not very surprising in its narrative twists and turns.

The next short, Demon Familiars, had my hopes up a little since it was directed by Ward Boult, a talented still photographer who has a definite eye for the ghoulish, but it's little more than a softcore cock tease in which Brinke Stevens makes out with a very, very attractive blonde named Angel Heart, and then ties her up so a Dyanne Thorne-esque dominatrix can have her way with her. It looks good, but it kind of leaves you with a shrug when it's all over.

The third short is a "vintage" short in which a bored housewife makes cocktails (I mean drinks, get your mind out of the gutter) and dances around in her underwear. It's like a Betty Page scene without Betty Page.

If you haven't had a girlfriend in a while, you might enjoy this dvd. Otherwise, stay away. Stay very far away. I felt dirty just putting it back in the box. (And again, I meant the video case, geez, get your mind out of the gutter!)