I have to wonder exactly what it means that Texas Chainsaw Massacre is now not only considered old enough to be remade, but old enough to be re-vamped entirely. Sure, I can understand Steve Martin in an updating of Cyrano de Bergerac. I can even accept (though not necessarily endure) Leonardo DiCaprio in a post-modernist Romeo & Juliet; however, these are centuries-old works being updated. Is TCM really in need of a reworking / homage after only three decades? Eric Stacey apparently thinks so, and thus we have Director's Cut.

Allow me to catch you up. Director's Cut opens with a nice, moody scene in which a family sits, tied to chairs, at a table. (I'm assuming they're probably supposed to be in the dining room, though it appears this scene was shot on a soundstage and so in the end they are really just in a black, nebulous void.) The aforementioned fact that they are tied to chairs immediately tips us off that something is not right, and the fact that a madman is strolling around the group talking about the murders he is going to commit only confirms our fears. Indeed, it's not long before blood begins to flow and the credits begin to roll.

Following this prologue, we meet Brittany (Kathleen Taylor), a pretty teen who is headed out to Hollywood with some friends in hopes of finding fame and fortune. As she prepares to leave, her mother, having just seen a report on the opening scene's murder on TV, warns her not to go; it should come as little surprise that Brittany has set out on the road toward Hollywood by the end of this exchange. Along with her, she is driving her boyfriend Mark (David Hunter), her friend Courtney (Molly Michelle), and Courtney's boyfriend Twiggy (Cradeaux Alexander, whose name gives me pangs of envy).

Stopping at a roadside rest stop, the group meets Meth (Evan McNamara); Brittany takes pity on him and convinces the others to give him a lift. They soon regret their decision, however, when he begins talking about stabbing himself with a screwdriver and making threatening comments (are we beginning to see the TCM parallels?). Forcing Meth out of the car, the group resumes its journey, and, by that evening, ends up at the house of the notorious B-movie director Cole Wilder (Joe Jeffrey). What makes Cole so interesting is not only that he is the son of a famous movie director who was killed in a situation terribly similar to the opening sequence of this film, but also the fact that he is not socializing at his party but rather hiding on the second floor videotaping the proceedings.

Well, things basically collapse at the end. The family just runs around chasing a screaming Brittany through the streets of Hollywood until the film stops, achieving one of the most abrupt conclusions since American Werewolf in London. This problem of disjointedness and confusion plagues Director's Cut, which, in general, seems unable to decide whether it wants to be a parody, an homage, or an actual horror film. The packaging claims that it is a loving tribute to TCM and a send-up of slasher pictures in general. While it is, at times, rather amusing and does, at other times, evoke fond memories of horror classics past, the inability of Director's Cut to stay one course and carry it out causes it to seem rather scatter-shot in its style. Still, there's a fair amount of good to be found in this production, and I think it's only fair to mention it before I fully begin my whining.

For starters, Director's Cut is definitely a professional-looking production, with a fairly sizeable cast, acting that never causes more than a slight grimace, and a slick look (perhaps too slick... those pointless split-screens get annoying fast). In addition to this, the film does have some nice gore and many well-executed scenes, particularly the prologue. Also, I'd like to praise Marian Zapico's portrayal of Cole's sexy wife, Katrina. She turned what could have been a grating and one-dimensional character into a fairly well developed and interesting personage. I'd like to see more of this pretty and talented young woman in the future.

What hobbles these effective elements is, as mentioned before, the film's inability to jell into a coherent and satisfying whole. Shifts in mood are too abrupt, particularly during stalking-killing sequences. For instance, at one point, Courtney is being chased by the killer and, in a rather amusing occurrence, is caught after she becomes entangled in power cords while trying to run. However, in the next scene she is tied to a chair and cruelly murdered with an electric drill. Either of these scenes would have been effective if a stylistic tone were consistent throughout the movie. However, placing them next to each other causes a jarring tonal shift that is nothing short of distracting.

Scripting is also not a strong suit in Director's Cut, and this causes a good deal of scenes to become rather ridiculous. In the opening scene, for instance, as Brittany's mother tries to convince Brittany to stay home, she goes from demanding that Brittany stay, to begging her to threatening her in the space of a few sentences. Such weirdly violent mood swings make these exchanges seem flat out ridiculous. Of course, I suppose an argument could be made that this is perhaps intentional and is part of the film's parody; however, I saw little evidence in the rest of the movie that would indicate that it was operating on such a high satirical plane.

As spoken of before, the movie also loses control of itself toward its ending, as though production suddenly became very rushed. We realize that several characters (a producer, an actor, etc.) have been very poorly developed, as they seem to simply sit and watch the family torment Brittany, and then randomly take a side, for or against the carnage. I found this all rather dumbfounding and it left me with a lot of questions as to these charactersâ relation to this crazy family and as to exactly what logic is dictating their actions. Sadly, these questions were never really answered, making the conclusion seem all the more unsatisfying.

Similarly, our mad auteur's plan of creating a realistic horror movie by filming his actors at the party and then murdering them is a seriously flawed premise. Exactly who, I have to wonder, would be willing to buy a movie that, for no apparent reason, has security-cam-style footage and little to no plot? While I could see a market for a snuff film, the movie makes it clear (a surprising change of pace) that Cole intends his product to function as a mainstream slasher picture.

The root of problem with Director's Cut is that it attempts to do too much in one movie. Not only does it want to simultaneously satirize and pay homage to the slasher sub-genre, but it also attempts to parody the reality TV craze through Cole's voyeuristic filming of his party's guests and his victims AND it tries to comment on the vanity of Hollywood directors, producers, and stars. With all of these noble aspirations, it becomes particularly frustrating that, in the final fifteen minutes, the movie basically abandons all of these goals and reverts to a tried-and-true 'chased by maniacs' sequence.

If the film itself is a bit of a mess, at least it is fairly enjoyable and professionally done. On that note, it is presented capably on this DVD in a non-anamorphic 1.85:1 transfer that looks clean and clear. Landfall Productions seems willing to play along with the movie's purported tongue-in-cheek spirit as evidenced by the amusing warning that plays when the disc is inserted, and I think it's nice that the producers tried to live up to the spirit of their product.

While the DVD is technically fine, however, its content is definitely lacking. Included on the disk are an over-long and uninvolving trailer and a feature called 'Commentary' that consists of an unidentified person (I'm assuming director Stacey, but it's just a guess) talking about the general goals of the film over about four minutes of footage from the movie.

In the end, Director's Cut is an affable if terribly disjointed little horror-comedy that has more than enough style and craft going for it but not nearly enough substance. If you're desperate for a slasher flick you could do a lot worse, but if you're looking for a film that will really make you believe in the power of independent cinema, you'd best continue your search.