Something Weird Video's DVD releases are known to be a treasure trove of lost wonders. Through the magic of DVD we are time warped to the 70's and are allowed to enter a seedy cinema on 42nd St. in New York City. These films (for the most part) are not "good" by any means, but bad can be just as fun for another whole set of reasons. With some recent price reductions, I was tempted to dig in and catch up on a little Something Weird. The other night I had a chance to experience Something Weird's disc of the Harry Novak 70's shlock-fest, The Child. The disc is absolutely packed with features, and comes highly recommended with its new $12 price tag. So, let's dig in.

The Child has got to be one of the oddest "horror" films I have ever seen. Chock full of everything, and nothing all at the same time, I couldn't believe what I was seeing (or hearing for that matter). Rosalie is an odd little girl. Instead of playing with the normal toys an 11-year-old would play with, she plays with zombies. On one particularly "fog-machiney" evening, Rosalie feeds a basket of defenseless kittens to the undead, how sweet. In the mean time an unsuspecting young woman named Alicianne is on her way to Rosalie's house to become her nanny of sorts (trust me when I say that Alicianne is far too attractive for THIS gig). After the requisite warning from the all too friendly (and obviously lonely) old lady, who lives next door, Alicianne's gig soon begins (the poor gal has no idea what she's in store for, and neither do we). Well, needless to say there is a lot of jibber-jabbering (some bizarre 70's synth music thrown in for good measure) and before you know it, there is a full on zombie assault (well sort of). You've never seen zombies quite like these before, and you probably never will (well, that's not entirely true). No explanation can do this flick justice, if you haven't been there, you just wouldn't understand. Why does Rosalie insist on having the dead do her bidding? Well, it's never really made too clear. Maybe it's because she's lonely, or because her mother died in a mental institution (and Rosalie's now terminally pissed about everything). Perhaps it's because her brother Len goes riding (whatever THAT means) with Alicianne when she should be playing with Rosalie instead. Who the hell knows folks, but Rosalie feels as if she's being crapped on and she's not gonna take it any more. Slightly gory (in a bad special effects kind of way) The Child is mere exploitation, for exploitation's sake. Undoubtedly thrown together to make a quick buck, this flick may suck, but it sure is fun to revel in its suckiness. The Child never knows what kind of film it wants to be so it just takes pieces from tons of sub genres of horror for good measure. did I mention that it's also hinted at that Rosalie is psychic? All you need to know is that somehow the dead come back to life and perform Roslaie's bidding. Before we know what has hit us, it's Night of The Living Dead all over again baby (board up that barn!).

Before we talk quality, let's talk extras. We'll start things off with no less than 9 trailers. As usual Something Weird offers up some interesting goodies from their trailer vaults. Some of these gems have appeared on other SWV discs, while some others have not (it's a great and welcomed mix of trash). Here's a trailer listing for good measure. The Child, Axe, Behind Locked Doors, Booby Trap, Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks, Kidnapped Coed, The Mad Butcher, The Toy Box and Toys are Not for Children. Next up are two vintage "educational" shorts, entitled The Outsider and The ABC of Baby Sitting, both in glorious B&W. If you've ever seen these old educational shorts I don't need to tell you how much fun they actually are. Finally we have the awesome exploitation art reel (an image gallery of classic exploitation poster art) that we've come to know and love with these SWV discs set to classic radio spots for the exploitation gems themselves. I've always had a blast with these segments, definitely great stuff in here. But wait! That's not all. Also included is another whole feature! The circa '64 crap-fest I Eat Your Skin. Yup, the whole 79-minute feature is added in as an extra, neat huh? Here you'll get to see what happens when a crazy and/or mad doctor creates a race of super zombies on a Tropical Island (also in glorious B&W). These crusty faced big-eyed zombies do it all, man what a life! Not to mention, you get to see crazy shit like this. Only in America!

Sound is fairly solid throughout as everything is presented in your standard Dolby Digital Mono. The dubbing job on The Child (did they have to loop the whole film?) has to be one of the worst I've ever heard, it's pretty pathetic. Sound is never really muffled or distorted, you may just have to crank up the volume just a bit.

Whew! That's a whole lotta shit crammed onto one disc! NOW, let's talk quality. None of the image quality present here is stellar so don't expect reference quality. The Child is presented full frame and is just full of specs and grain and dirt and scratches (and you name it)! Some scenes do fare better than others do and colors are fairly sharp for the most part. Considering the title at hand, one really has no room for complaints. Besides, it almost adds to the whole grindhouse feel of it all. The trailers are a hit or miss affair and all contain the SWV watermark in the lower right hand corner of the screen. Once again, it doesn't really matter, as the trailers are too much fun either way. Lastly, the second feature I Eat Your Skin also bears the SWV watermark throughout, with surprisingly better quality than anything else on the disc. It appears as if the transfer was taken from a VHS master, as there's really no definition of shadows and blacks. Surprisingly enough, print damage is minimal, and overall it looks pretty damn good. Once again, one would be hard pressed to complain as this feature IS billed as an extra. How often do you get a second film as an extra? Buy Erin Brokovich get Notting Hill for free, now THAT'S a horror double feature!

I must say, I simply love these Something Weird discs. Preserving the best of the worst in cinema, these guys are to really be commended. The price drop is the key, so if ya dig bad cinema (so bad it's good?) this disc is a steal for 12 bucks. Invite over the friends and flip around this disc for a few hours, they may never want to come over again! (Or you may never be able to get them to leave!)