Can you really go wrong with demonic nuns, buckets of glowing blood and Adrienne Barbeau brandishing a semi-automatic? The answer to this question my friend is definitely no. In the case of The Convent (although it's not without its problems) you can only do right. The Convent may not be the smartest horror film you've seen, nor will it be the most original, however, what it lacks in originality is more than made up for in gore effects and style. The Convent is one hell of a fun movie and there is certainly no denying that.

The shit hits the fan when a group of teenage misfits break into an abandoned convent. Urban legend tells of a young girl given a nasty abortion at the convent years earlier by a group of priests and nuns. The young girl exacts her revenge when she blasts her way into the church days later as she beats, burns, and blasts away the clergy. Back to present time, and our helpless (and mostly unlikable) victims are exploring said convent where all this nastiness supposedly occurred. Add to the mix a few bumbling Satan worshipers and a botched ceremony; what do you get? The answer of course is instant demons.

Now, as I said earlier, these characters are not really likable at all. The script is mostly ludicrous, and some of the comedic elements come across as an extended SNL skit. Under normal circumstances, this would not make for a positive movie going experience. However, once the demonic possession and ass kicking begins, you're really not going to care either way. The Convent has some really slick edits, and interesting camera movements. The techno pumpin' soundtrack is JUST what the doctor ordered and let's just say that the film is bloody as hell. Once things really get rollin' The Convent is guaranteed to be an extremely unique viewing experience. Also, as if all of this weren't enough, the film features a cameo by Coolio, a really cute dog, and let's not forget Adrienne Barbeau and her ass kicking.

Picture quality is quite impressive considering the obviously low budget origins of this production. Print damage is minimal and colors are sharp and vibrant. Audio is less impressive. The obviously artificial 5.1 track does absolutely nothing for me. Dialogue seems way too low, and effects are overpowering. There is too much surround activity and it really doesn't jive with the onscreen action. My suggestion, turn off the digital and kick it in stereo.

Here come the extras. We start off with no less than 2 audio commentaries. The first is a cast and crew commentary that probably contains more laughter than anything else. The second commentary joins us with "The Lords of Hell" (the aforementioned SNL skit Satan worshippers). I guess it seemed like a clever idea at the time, but really, how much of their amateurish improv can one person stand? The commentaries are OK, and I'm sure there are others out there that will appreciate them more than I did. Moving on, we are given a brief deleted scene (that appears to have been taken from a video source), and an 8.5 minute featurette that probably contains about 45 seconds of worthwhile behind the scenes footage. The coolest extra is a feature entitled "gore on demand". Basically what we have here is a chapter selection that takes us straight to a few of the key gore scenes. The scenes are presented "behind the scenes style" in their uncut raw entirety, it's very cool. Lastly, there are a few "hidden" trailers for The Convent, Ripper Letter from Hell and Bully.

The bottom line here is that The Convent comes highly recommended. While the audio is lackluster (but NOT terrible) the video presentation is quite impressive. This wasn't my first viewing; I was lucky enough to see The Convent in a packed theater before a showing of the classic Night of the Comet. The Convent worked just as well on home video; it's a blast. Never smart but sometimes funny, never scary yet always gory, if you enjoy it for what it's worth, you're pretty much guaranteed a good time.