As much as I hate to do this, folks, but I want to start today's review with a little bit of honesty. Now, I'll admit to displaying a little bit of hostility when it comes to a certain type of Indie horror film. Anyone who has read some of my other reviews probably has a good idea of the movies I'm referring to, so I'll refrain from name calling here. So, maybe you can imagine what flashed through my head when I opened my media mail package to find Sub Rosa's release of Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires. I was wondering what our Head Vampire had gotten me into this time and reading the back of the box did nothing to dissuade my preconceived notions of the title in my hand.

Honestly, why would my opinion change when the character list included a haughty vampire princess and her whipping boy of a familiar, Ma Poissier (pronounced pisser) and her incredibly unique family, a dwarf named Cletus, and a fruity Frenchman Jean Claude Eaux. Don't get mad, fruity Frenchman is a quote from the back of the box. The box also promised beer drinking, bean eating, shower peeping, competitive-fart, strip poker playing and even more insanity after that. Then top it all off with the annual Tripe Day cook off and beauty pageant. It all takes place in a little southern redneck town called Backwash. To put it plainly, folks, I was frightened. Some of our more optimistic readers may think that this sounds like great fun and if it came in a box with Bruce Campbell's name on it, I'd agree with them. Let's face it; I'm a bit jaded. There are some amazing indie filmmakers out there but there are also some filmmakers that are better intended than they are talented.

I was so intent on my immediate dislike for this movie that I managed to keep a straight (though somewhat astounded) face through the slowly delivered, yet unbelievably witty and bizarre dialogue. I refrained from laughing (though just barely) while Lil' Junior Poissier got the crap kicked out of him by Cletus. Considering Cletus only came up to his hip and had arms barely long enough to drink from a beer bottle, I think I showed amazing restraint. By the time I had gotten through a farting contest with Cletus clad only in boxers and suspenders, I was just about out of will power. When Ma gave Lil' Junior and Cletus a stern (but loving) talking to about not wanting them to get drunk and pursue any inappropriate relationships with sheep, the flood gates broke and once I started laughing I couldn't stop because the movie just kept coming. Just when I thought I couldn't be any more shocked at how far this movie would go, we got to the strip poker party complete with a woman named One Eyed Lurlene, who it just so happens charged past plump about twenty years ago. Once you see a woman that size (in nothing but her bikini underwear) squash a man's head like a melon full of corn syrup, there's no turning back. I laughed so hard we had to pause the movie until I could breath again. Also, don't forget that in between all of that the town is under attack by vampires!

This movie was such a surprise. It wasn't even in the same neighborhood of the Indie flicks I can be found ranting and raving about. Before I continue on, let me give some credit here for the writers and idea men behind this movie Michael Hegg, Joe Sherlock, and Ron Bonk, because they truly do deserve it. I would never threaten to slap their mothers. You really have to listen but the dialogue is pretty unbelievable! Not only that, but the movie looks great. Camera angles were excellent and so was the lighting and sound. The head-squishing scene has got to be one of my favorites since Joe Clark's chain saw sequence in Massacre. The effect they used was simple and extremely effective.

This movie doesn't have one single socially redeemable quality and it's a great movie! I can't remember the last time I laughed quite this hard. Now, I know that it's not considered PC to laugh at women with weight issues or little people in their underwear or under educated back woods type folks but damn it, it was funny! I hate to inform the public but most humor is at someone else's expense and this movie was written to be laughed at. In the special features, which includes an audio commentary, a behind the scenes featurette, a blooper reel, and a photo gallery, you can see the effort they put into giving this movie a comedic look, feel, and sound.

I highly recommend this movie to anyone who's into movie's with a non PC theme. Be warned that if you offend easily this is not the movie for you! I think my friend who watched this movie with me the first time had the best quote for this movie. When the credits rolled I asked him what he thought of it. He said that it was a little like seeing a busload of clowns burning on the highway. You know you shouldn't laugh or point but you can't help it and you just can't seem to tear your eyes away from the sight of it.