Bloody Tease is the latest horror offering from Razor 3D. Filmed in "True Stereoscopic 3D" the film is viewable both in 3D, with Razor's 3D glasses, or in plain old 2D for those so unlucky. Unfortunately those unlucky folks include me. Lacking the equipment necessary to view the picture as it was truly intended, this review can only serve as a critique of the 2D version. Then again, it's basically the same film. For those who feel cheated, read this review with your 3D glasses on and it'll be equivalent to the real thing.

We open in the Fetish Jam, an underground strip club, where Greg (Matt Nespole) celebrates his birthday with a few pole-dancing girlies. Soon the gracious hosts, Treasure (Elina Madison), Monique (Alison Beal), and Serena (Monika Wild), gather round to give him a little surprise. Producing huge sets of fangs they pounce on the birthday boy and proceed to tear him to pieces.

It's time to meet the stars of the show, two knucklehead college roommates named Sammy (Dan Wells) and Ken (Steve Beaumont Jones). Sick of dorm life they decide to make a move off campus. Realizing their deceased friend from orientation, Greg, left behind a vacant apartment they display a true act of compassion and move right in. To ease the burden of the bills they recruit a third roommate, Martin (Michael L. Sharpe), a prototypical nerd who's best pickup line is, "I was wondering if you'd like to go back to my place and watch videogames or something. I've got Tomb Raider VII." Soon, the trio finds Greg's fateful advertisement for the Fetish Jam and they head out for a night of fun.

General lameness follows as the guys get a few fully-clothed lap dances and eventually bring the girls home. Preferring sex over food, Greg and Sam get lucky with the girls of their choice. Martin's luck, however, takes a turn for the worse as his love slave decides to snack on his tasty heart.

Realizing the babes are vampires, the guys search for a way to kill them. They find a book describing a new breed, with a unique weakness, ensuring that this is the only blood-sucker movie you'll ever watch with the dialogue, "Stab her in the eye!" Will the bumbling duo win the fight against evil, or will they just try to get some more action? Hey, even though they're vampires, they did give it up.

This bare bones DVD has absolutely no extras, other than the choice of 2D or 3D. Though viewable in 2D, it's quite obvious that the 3D filming process has taken a great toll on picture quality. There's often a ghostlike double image around objects and actors, which can be quite distracting at times. Also problematic are the frequent image artifacts, especially in the red-walled club, and a shadowy border that often blurs the edges of the image.

Makeup artist Ron Karkoska (Wishmaster 3, 2001 Maniacs) is definitely the highlight of this production. There's some convincing blood and gore on display, as well as some truly menacing sets of vampire teeth. It's good work, particularly when considering this production's obviously miniscule budget.

There really isn't much else to like about Bloody Tease. It's poorly written and acted, with a plot that could be concluded in a moderate length short feature. The movie does provide a few brief laughs, and its intentions are nothing more than campy, sleazy fun, but the end result is an exercise in tedium.

If you already have a set of 3D glasses and you're desperate to get some use out of them, you might give Bloody Tease a shot. Truthfully, even if Treasure jumps out of the screen and offers you a piece of...um...her treasure, you still won't be very entertained.