B-movie director Al Adamson churned out a ton of exploitation classics during his long career, stuff like Blood of Dracula's Castle, Dracula vs. Frankenstein, and my personal favorite, Satan's Sadists. While Black Heat isn't in the same league as some his other stuff, it still provides solid entertainment for your drunken viewing dollar.

The movie opens with a couple of bad-ass bruthahs waiting in the desert (a favorite Adamson location) as a small plane approaches. A scrawny little fellow (who looks like he's wearing Groucho nose-glasses) disembarks and talks (in quite possibly the silliest Spanish accent ever - maybe even edging out Pacino's goofy accent from Carlito's Way) to one of the bad dudes, a bald fellow named Guido (J.C. Wells). It seems our little Groucho is fomenting a revolution in his native land and wants to buy weapons from Guido in exchange for a large amount of cocaine ("That shit better be top-drawer, jack," Guido tells the guy).

Cutting to the mean streets of L.A., we meet plainclothes cops "Kicks" Carter (Timothy Brown) and his partner Tony (Geoffrey Land) as they polish off a greasy-spoon lunch. Before they can wipe the sludge from their faces, the two are called in to take down a couple of hoods. During the ensuing gun battle, bootilicious reporter Stephanie (Tanya Boyd) arrives on the scene, camera on her shoulder, to capture the action for the evening news. Tony is wounded, but Kicks takes down the bad guys in manly fashion.

Arriving at the Queen's Castle Hotel for Women, Kicks and Tony make their way to the pool, which is populated by bikini-clad young lovelies (showing more buttcrack than a Christina Aguilera concert) - including Stephanie, whom we learn is Kicks' squeeze. Tony also has a girlfriend living at the hotel, the troubled Terry (Jana Bellan). Adamson's wife Regina Carrol is also along for the ride, playing a sweet-natured lounge singer with a convict husband. Other than introducing the newest characters, absolutely nothing happens in this scene (if you can call that vertical smile action nothing).

Kicks and Tony visit the "Neigbor Hood Pool" Recreation Club, where Kicks pretends to slap a dude around in the men's room. This hapless guy is actually an informant, and he tells Kicks that something's going down on the streets an' shit - and Guido is behind it. Kicks learns that Guido did some time with Ziggy (Russ Tamblyn), who has ties to the Queen's Castle Hotel. The Hotel has been a hotbed of suspicious activity, and Kicks has been trying to bust Ziggy for some time.

At this point, we cut to a cheesy lounge, where Regina Carrol badly lip-syncs a truly godawful love song called "No More Mail Until Tomorrow" while Ziggy, Guido, Kicks, Tony and their respective gal-pals watch. Reaction shots of the club's patrons prove them to be enthralled by Regina's song stylings. Guido wants Ziggy and bisexual crime boss Fay (Darlene Anders) to help him rob a securities company, using inside information they plan to squeeze out of Terry (an employee of the company, Terry has a gambling problem - which leads to a really creepy gang-rape at the hands of a savory bunch of lads - and Ziggy and Fay use this to gain her help). Since smart cop Tony makes it readily apparent that he's onto Ziggy and Guido, Ziggy ices him, making it look like a car wreck, and our man Kicks is left on his own to avenge the murder and stop the bad guys.

It was around this time that I began to feel like I was watching two movies at the same time, and a quick peek at the DVD's liner notes revealed that this was indeed the case - in a sense. Adamson and Producer Sam Sherman, wanting a movie that could play the inner-city grindhouses as well as the drive-in circuit, hatched the idea of shooting two different opening reels - one setting up the blaxploitation, gun-running storyline, and another setting up the naughty chicks-in-trouble storyline (this version of the movie is known as Girls' Hotel). Of course, neither one makes much sense, but the result is still fun to watch. The DVD includes a "deleted scene" offering more of the Girls' Hotel footage (which features plenty of gratuitous nudity) and the alternate title sequence. Other extras include a deleted sex scene between Tony and Terry, a trailer for yet another alternate version of the movie (this one called The Murder Gang), trailers for several other Independent-International movies, and a commentary track by Sam Sherman. There's also a nice booklet which includes the movie's theatrical pressbook.

The DVD features a surprisingly good full-frame transfer of the movie, which looks far better than I would've expected for this kind of flick. The stereo sound is just fine - nothing special, but again, not bad for the material.

It's no Horror of the Blood Monsters, but Black Heat delivers some thickly-sliced cheese nonetheless. And be sure to check out the smoldering look of arousal on Stephanie's face as Kicks Carter peels off his briefs!

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