Remember that girl in high school? You know, the one that you were madly in love with for all four years, but could never tell? No matter how close you came, you choked in fear, never to explain yourself. Then, after graduation, maybe a year or so later, you see her at a party, and the alcohol and other narcotics give you wings (Take that, Red Bull) and you finally talk posthumously about your love, to which she reveals her long-ago reciprocation of those feelings. But it's too late, the ship has left the harbor, the train has left the station, etc. All you have is the what-ifs in your head, and the bitter taste of wasted potential.

I'm sure you're asking "What's this dork's problem? What does this have to do with Absolution? What's a girl?" I'll tell you what the two have to do with one another: the aforementioned bitter taste of wasted potential. Absolution, in concept, is unbelievably amazing. An angel wants to experience life amongst the mortals. She inhabits the body of coked-up porn star Nora Kiss, and drops right into the middle of a plot involving military prototype weapons, a stack of CD's, and bomb components smuggled inside of pornographic videotapes. Our angel is left with one hell of a conundrum. Does she follow God's rules and merely observe, or defy her Angelic code and interfere on mankind's behalf, thus forever damning her in God's eyes? Heavy stuff.

Unfortunately, this great plot and all that awesome potential is wasted away in one of the slowest movies I have ever seen. The plot unfurls at a snail's pace, and doesn't hold the viewer's attention very well. I wasn't expecting an instant classic, but I wasn't expecting to be so bored. After an hour, the pace picks up quite a bit, but it's too late to be saved. Toss in unbelievably awful acting on almost everyone's part, and Absolution is almost completely unforgivable. The only bright spots in this movie are some inventive camerawork, some rather realistic dialogue, and Dmitri. Paul Wendell easily steals the show in this caper, showing the most gusto, and giving the most life to the Russian assassin.

Also included on the disc is another short film by director John Specht titled Motives? that has the same issues as Absolution does. However, it being a shorter film helps immensely, as the movie is forced to move along much quicker. Plus, there are a few genuinely tense moments to be had. My one big beef is that in the opening credits it's referred to as an "independent film," which struck me as a bit pretentious. Do we really need to tell everyone the obvious?

Picture quality of the movie was acceptable. While shot on video, sometimes the colors really popped, and detail was pretty sharp. Unfortunately, a lot of that was washed out by an irritating backlight effect that proved to be quite headache inducing. Sound, on the other hand, did not fare so well. Dialogue was WAY too soft, and was offset by the ridiculously loud soundtrack that left you cranking the volume one minute, then scrambling for the remote when Shawn Donoho's techno-laden score blasts through your speakers. Extras include bonus trailers for other Sub Rosa features, a blooper reel, and deleted scenes.

There's a scene earlier on in the movie, with a handful of male pornstars (including Ice From The Sun and Savage Harvest director Eric Stanze) waiting to film an orgy scene. Weary and irritable, they unenthusiastically assign themselves an orifice for the upcoming scene. My friend Michelle, who watched this with me, noted "Why the hell are they so bored? They're pornstars!" Looking back on it, I feel their pain. In theory, I should be thrilled with reviewing such an original movie. In practice, however, it left me with that bitter taste.