This year's Danger After Dark and New Korean Cinema series at the Philadelphia Festival of World Cinema have served up some excellent fare, and each film I've attended has been a worthwhile endeavor. From the action-packed Princess Blade to the bloody Suicide Club to the amazing Pistol Opera, each film has provided a new and unique viewing experience that has reminded me why I go to the cinema. But they can't all be gems, folks, as yesterday's screening comes up just a bit short, despite it's superior title.

First, let's set the stage. Yesterday was an unseasonably warm 91° day here in Philadelphia, which apparently caught the International House unprepared. That's right, the air conditioning was not working. I walked into the stiflingly hot theatre, and staked out a seat in the center. Unfortunately, everyone else had the same idea as they clustered around me, even with many empty seats in the back, front and sides. Especially annoying was an odorous, unkempt man who plopped down next to me and insisted on rubbing elbows. *shudder* To top it off, the seats in this theatre are the most uncomfortable in the known universe, inducing spinal injury and tailbone misalignment in a matter of minutes.

So here I am, sweating profusely, on the verge of heat stroke, surrounded on all sides by sweaty elbow-rubbing strangers, and slowly losing feeling in my legs. These, my friends, are not ideal conditions for watching a festival film, especially the unconventional fare I came to see. Now, a professional reviewer would not let these things affect his or her opinion of a film. But, seeing as I am nowhere near professional, I must admit that these extenuating factors severely hampered my enjoyment.

Starting off, we have a short film entitled Good Romance, an indie Korean flik shot on Digital Video. The main actors in the film, playing a 33-year old woman and her high-school love interest, are clearly talented people who offer great performances. It's odd to watch a movie shot on video after seeing so many shot on film; the effect is a little weird. This is a well-made little project, but under the circumstances, this was not what I wanted to see. The Korean kids behind me seemed to enjoy it though.

Now to the main course: Teenage Hooker Became Killing Machine in Daehakro! I don't care what anyone says, this is the hands-down goofiest movie title to grace a film festival in years. The film, another all-DV indie affair, begins with an unbearably long opening credits sequence that lasts one-tenth the total running time of the film. When the film finally gets underway, we witness the super-surreal world of a schoolgirl prostitute, who is killed by her laugh-happy teacher after he impregnates her. After being horribly butchered, she is subsequently rebuilt in true cyberpunk fashion (she's a killing machine!) as a heartless assassin, programmed to kill her enemies. It's the oldest plot device in the book! ^__^

There are some bizarre set pieces throughout the film, including a date-rape fantasy chase through city streets, an impromptu dance party in an alley, and a surprise attack in which our heroine whips out her newly-built "hardware". Ahem. The film looks great at times, bathed in a grainy swirl of primary colors and high-contrast imagery. The stylized looks works great, and made me forget that I was watching video. This film is also notable for making excellent use of Massive Attack's Eurochild (known around these parts as the "Meow Meow" song), which meshes quite well with the slow-motion hypersaturated visuals.

The reliance on maniacal laughter gets old quickly, though, and despite the film's modest length, there are a few scenes that drag on a bit too long (the crazy lady lamenting her fate over the phone comes to mind). The violence is well-done, but there's just not enough of it. The slow tempo also bogs down what might have been a workable film; Teenage Hooker might have fared much better with punk-rock pacing. The violent, cross-gender, money-shot climax almost makes the experience worthwhile. Almost.

Teenage Hooker is certainly not in the same category as this year's top festival films; it would been much better to be viewed in your buddy's basement with a couple of beers. That said, it's not terrible, and I don't hate it. I'm sorry to disappoint those of you anticipating another Chronicle of Corpses-style berating, but this film is infinitely better and deserves no such derision.

Thumbs sideways. Maybe it's the heat stroke talking.