"You don't know life until you've fucked death in the gall bladder." You know, that is so true. This witty revelation, and many others just like it, are shamelessly dispensed in the 1973 three-dimensional film Flesh for Frankenstein. Showing for the first time in Philadelphia at the International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival (on a custom-made silver screen, no less), Flesh for Frankenstein is a deadpan satire co-produced by Andy Warhol and starring the incomparable Udo Kier. While no one is going to confuse this with a "good movie" (the terms "3D" and "good movie" are mutually exclusive, for what should be obvious reasons), it's still a fun little romp loaded with kitsch value.

Udo Kier plays the character of Ze Baron, a medical deviant bent on creating the perfect human being. (Hmmm... I think I read this in a book once... Frankensomething, I believe it was called.) Ze Baron toils away in his secret laboratory with his assistant Otto, cobbling together body parts to build the perfect man and woman in the hopes of breeding them. (Sure, why not!) All is going according to plan, but he finds himself in need of the perfect head to complete the male portion of his experiment. He travels to the local whore house to scope out sex-crazed men, but inadvertently ends up beheading a rather disinterested fellow by mistake. Things go to hell rather quickly from here, with a healthy dose of 3D carnage and grisly deaths upon the way. It's fun!

The film was heavily censored upon its initial release, with good cause. There's a fair bit of nudity (which seems pretty tame, actually), and some odd scenes in which armpits are thoroughly sucked. The female frankenzombie doesn't wear a stitch of clothing the entire time, unless you count that strange kielbasa suit the doctor dresses her in. There are some fairly convincing gore sequences, the most grievous of which comes during a scene in which Ze Baron "makes love" to the entrails of his female zombie. (Hmmm... I'm pretty sure that doctors aren't supposed to do that.) There are plenty of silly 3D-specific shots, and overall the film looks quite good in its original 3D state. Flesh for Frankenstein is also notable for having the longest 3D midget-horse carriage ride in motion picture history. C'mon, give the film its props.

Er, maybe not. Allow me to reiterate my stance: Flesh for Frankenstein is not a good movie. The plot is laughable, the acting is laughable and the dialog is... well, laughable. That was probably the intention, leaving the film squarely in the "so-bad-it's-good" category. I did laugh quite a bit though, and I must admit that seeing a film of this type in 3D was a rare experience I just couldn't pass up. Hopefully the new silver screen at the Prince Theater is used for more 3D screenings in the future. Though Flesh for Frankenstein is a rather poor film, the experience was a lot of cheesy fun, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Thumbs up.